Making Progress

Well, after many 'o hours of work and toil we've finally made a lot of headway on our bathroom. We have the tile up in the shower and the grout done in most of it. We have the vanity, sink, mirror and new light done. The floor tile and grout done. All we have left is the fan and the toilet.

We went with the white subway tile
because we liked the look and they were cheap.

It's been a long, long job, but Dea and I have learned a lot. She and I have enjoyed spending our time together. I would often think of mom and dad working on their house in Tewksbury or John and Irene working on their house in St. Pete.

We hope to have everything done in a few more days. Travel baseball starts in a week, so we have to be done by then.

Kids Journal - 04/21/05

April 21, 2005

Gabe and DC,

It’s been a while since I’ve written. Last night a very funny thing happened and I had to share it.

DC, you’ve been going through quite a bit of changes in your body. Puberty can be a tough thing. Hormones, emotions… tough stuff. So, last night, after your shower, you came out saying you really needed to talk to Mommy, who was out with her friends Trish and Tonia. You call her and it turns out you appeared to have a yeast infection. This is pretty common, but very scary for your. So, I held you in my arms and you cried for a few minutes. It was nice to know that I could still offer you solace during an uncomfortable time like that.

After you cry your fear out, you go back and get changed for bed. When you return you ask me a question: “Dad, who do you think has it worse with infections, boys or girls?” I didn’t understand the question, so I asked it again. “Who do you think has it worse? Boys with infections or girls with infections.” The one thing I’ve learned when discussing sexual topics with children is to never assume they know more than they do. Always ask to explain themselves or you could find yourself explaining topics this child was never interested or even knew about. So, I asked you “what type of infections do boys get?” Embarassed, you said “you know… down there!” “Where?” You replied “Dad!” I asked “the pee-pee?” “Yes!” you answered.

Now I was really confused. What type of infection happens to a pee-pee… and why does my daughter know about it and I don’t. Remembering my own advice, I assume she knows nothing and ask you to elaborate. “What type of infection would a boy get?” “Dad, you know, when the boy gets an infection there. It gets bigger.” Ewww, I thought to myself. An infection that gets bigger? Down there? Ick! Now I’m confused, intrigued and disgusted at the same time. “What type of infection gets bigger?” “Dad, the nurse said that boys get infections there and it gets bigger.”

Then it hit me and I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself.

“Honey,” I replied, “boys don’t get infections, they get erections.” “Oh, right!” you replied, suddenly remembering. “So, which is worse?” you asked. “Definitely girls have it worse with infections.” “I thought so!” you replied like a victorious martyr. Then you started to return to your bedroom, but stopped and said “And the nurse said that, whenever the boys get bigger, to never laugh at them.”

“Now that is advice you should remember for the rest of your life!” I replied and you happily and still innocently walked back to your room to go to bed.

There are sometimes in your life where you never imagined you would have such discussions. They never prepare you for this when you become a parent. It’s something you just have to know can happen on occasion. It ended up that you didn’t have a yeast infection, you were just going through changes. You were very relieved about this.

Love you,

Dad.

Kids Journal - 07/28/02

July 28, 2002

I took you, Gabriel, my baseball-nut of a son to the Yankee/DRays game this afternoon. When Uncle Tim worked for the DRays, we'd go to about 30 games a year (tickets were free!). But, since he left, we can only afford one or two games a year. The event was so disheartening that it inspired me to write a letter and send it to every single baseball team and the commissioner's office about how unbalanced the teams were due to financial disparities.

And, while we were at the game, you Gabe, did two things that were adorable. First, when the game was going sour... Petite was on his way to striking out twelve, Ventura had just hit a grand slam and Jeter was knocking the ball around, you turned to me and said "Dad, when I get six, and taller, I'm gonna go down to the Devil Rays and say 'hey, can I help?'" It was so sweet and sincere. You really thought that just being six and a little taller would make you able to help them out... it was very sweet.

And the other funny thing you did was, at one point, you started digging your hand way up into your shorts. Worried that people would look, I leaned over and quietly said "Gabe, what're you goin?" And you replied "My peepee fell out of my underwear." That type of honesty I did not anticipate!

Overall we had a great time, considering the game. We got Brent Abernathy and Joe Kennedy's autograph on one of the Devil Ray balls Tim got you for your birthday. And afterward, you got to run around the bases.

It was a nice Father/Son day.

Some Headway

After days of reconstructing in ways that showed no visible progress, we're finally getting stuff done that makes it look like we're getting stuff done.

We ran out of tile... need about three more pieces. But it will look nice when we're done. Since we have to let it set for 24 hours, tonight we actually have the night off!

What to do... we could go out to dinner. We could watch a movie. We could play a board game.

Oh wait! I know! We can sleep because we're totally exhausted! Yeah, that's it!

Tile Me Exhausted

It started out simple enough. A single tile moved slightly in the master bathroom shower wall. A week later part of the wall fell down.

Now, four days after that, we've completely gutted our bathroom. We've rebuilt the shower walls from scratch. We're having to fix and level the threshold moving into the shower.

But we still have SO much more to do. We have to tile the shower and the floor. Fix the flange for the toilet. Prime and paint the walls. Install a new bathroom exhaust fan that, conveniently enough, is located directly under a new duct work junction box in the attic of our recently upgraded air conditioning system. Plus install a new vanity, mirror and toilet.

I'm tired. My hands are raw. Our house is covered with a thin layer of concrete dust and I wake up every morning sneezing about 1000 times in a row.

However, I am impressed by the work and assistance of my children. I have totally enjoyed experiencing the project with my wife.

And, many times, I have felt as if my father were with me, guiding me during the process.

Kids Journal - 07/27/02

Before I started this blog, I would send myself emails about funny or important moments in the kids lives. Here's one from July 2002...

***

July 27, 2002

Today was a cool day... a day which, as a father, I never anticipated. Today, my daughter, Dorothea, and I went over her lines in the script. I got a degree in acting (add appropriate "you're an idiot" insult here) and I performed for quite a few years, but I never thought any of my kids would participate in the field. And when I wrote the first draft of The Box the child character was named Lil' Jimmy. But when I realized that the only child actor I could count on and be relatively certain she'd be available when I needed was my own daughter, well, the character quickly became Lil'Jenny.

So we sat on our family room floor and I went through each of her scenes with her, going over her lines, explaining her specific choices, etc. But, she wanted to understand the big picture... she wanted to understand why Dan was sacrificing himself for his family. I kept telling her it was a long story, because it'd mean I'd have to verbally go over the entire script. She didn't care. She was full of youthful exhuberance, so I went through it.

So, I go through the whole story, basically scene by scene, but it felt like a camp fire story. I'm leaning forwarding, acting everything out, she's leaning forward, listening intently. And the cool part was that she was totally into it, cringing when The Box got moved from one location to the other, etc. It was pretty neat, actually. I hope the audience responds with as much interest as she did when I told her the entire story.

So, I continue on and when I get to Plot Point II, my daughter does the sweetest thing... I get to the point where Lil' Jenny inadvertently lets Anderson know where The Box is located and my daughter quickly leans back, gasps and grabs her chest as if the wind had been knocked out of her. Tears start to form in her eyes and I ask, "what's wrong?" She said "It's all my fault that Dan dies!" She was so into the story that she felt personally responsible for her character doing an action that utlimately leads to Dan's death. It was so sweet.

She then started laughing at herself for getting so emotional, yet still crying at how her character's action impacted Dan. It lasted until we got through the rest of the story.

It was so sweet because, not only did she understand the story, but she truly cared about the characters. It was a very special, nice little moment between a writer Dad and his interested daughter... one I'll never forget.

Listen to My Interview!

I've known Jon Ashby online for 10 years. He ran a website a long time ago called REwind Video. It was THE hub for the microcinema revolution in the late 90's. Over the years Jon has continued his altruistic support approach to the low budget filmmaker and now runs a website called CommonFilm.org.

He was kind enough to interview me about our recent Club God award, Sonlight Pictures and our future project Forgiven. So, check it out at the links below...

Main Page - http://www.commonfilm.org

Direct link to Interview - http://www.commonfilm.org/media/podcasts/CFInterview-PeteBauer.mp3

Funny thing... having known Jon online for 10 years, this was the first time we actually spoke to each other. Amazing how technology has changed relationships and communication.

In any event, it was very kind of Jon to take the time to allow me to talk up Sonlight Pictures. Please check it out.

Come What May (2009)

A couple of people in Virginia came up with an idea of training Christian home-schoolers in the ways of film making in order to take back the entertainment industry for Jesus. They formed a company called the Advent Film Group and put together their first project, a pro-life film called Come What May.

The behind-the-scenes story is very inspirational. Feeling the push of divine influence, they approached a small Christian college called Patrick Henry College and proposed using their moot court setting (where students debate issues in a court setting with retired judges) in preparation for debating moral issues in the real world and suggested writing a story about two college students assigned to argue to overthrow Roe v. Wade.

They formulated a budget and were astounded that the financial needs of the film were funded within a few weeks. Not one investor that they approached said No. Not one! That's an amazing thing!

The film itself follows a young man named Caleb who joins the college and is assigned to work with the beautiful and chaste Rachel. They are tasked with coming up with arguments to overturn the legal event in the Supreme Court which allowed abortion to become legal in this country. A nearly impossible argument to win now-a-days.

Caleb's home life is struggling as his parents are on opposite ends of the abortion debate. The father is about to publish a book on the science behind the pro-life movement and the mother is a lawyer defending a Supreme Court case that hopes to continue to allow children to obtain abortions without parental consent.

Over the course of their studies, Caleb and Rachel draw closer to each other, but her high standards of relationships and her own self-respect cause Caleb to reconsider his own approach to intimacy.

The film's success is hit and miss. It suffers from the consequence of low-budget scars. Acting his inconsistent. Lighting and audio vary in quality. And the story, for the most part, is very good. Out of the 90 or so minutes of the film, there is an excellent 60 minutes worth of material in there. The other 30 minutes are not bad, but not nearly as strong and concise as the rest of the story.

The lead actors (Austin Kearney as Caleb and Victoria Emmons as Rachel) are very good for the most part. There are a few times where they dip below the believability scale... in the smaller moments, in the throw away lines, that take you out of the film for a moment, but they have screen presence and a certain charm.

Come What May is enjoyable to see a film with strong pro-life standards, with college relationships based on faith and chastity and with real questions being asked about such a sensitive subject which are handled with respect and include numerous opportunities to discuss both sides of the issue. In many ways, it's as fair and balanced as a pro-life movie can get.

Finally, Come What May was extremely fortunate to have garnered massive amount of support from pro-life and pro-family organizations. Not since Sherwood Pictures (Flywheel, Facing the Giants, Fireproof) have a I seen such an strong grassroots effort to get a film seen. I think if the acting would have been better and the production value higher, this film would have been as big as any of the Sherwood Pictures flicks.

I think this is a film people see because they believe in the message and want to support the filmmakers for exploring it, but I think the film could have been much, much more financially successful.

I applaud Advent Film Group for the intent and dedication to training the next generation of filmmakers that will be steeped in Christian values and traditions. I can't wait to see their next film.

Live Alligator Wrestling Review Flashback

I was cleaning out some old email and came across this review of the last (and final) play that I was in at the Florida Players called Live Alligator Wrestling. This may already be posted on the website, but just in case, here's a snippet of the review...

***

The plays, touted by LiveArts as "world premieres" (accurate but a bit pretentious), are David F. Smith's Wallace Stevens at Key West, Doug Cooney's Live Alligator Wrestling and Jeff Whipple's The Cutting Edge of Amenities. They're billed as "The Floridians 2005," part of LiveArts' occasional series of Florida-influenced work.

Only one of the pieces works.

Cooney is an immensely charming and insightful writer and performer whose works combine quirky, low-key comedy and subtle poignancy. Live Alligator Wrestling, based on the story of Owen and Pearl Godwin, the founders of Orlando's Gatorland, doesn't have the emotional depth of some of his best work, but it's still clever, amusing and quietly poignant.

Cooney gives us the Godwins (played wonderfully by Pete Bauer and Susan Alexander) from early adulthood into middle age. Owen Godwin surprises his young wife by turning their back yard into an alligator pit, the beginning of Gatorland. She is not amused. But Florida is crawling with gators and tourists, he argues, so it makes sense to bring the two together.

As a devoted wife, Pearl dutifully runs the attraction while her husband travels the country acquiring exotic animals. In the end, Owen seems to know more about alligators than his wife and reacts awkwardly to her plea for warmblooded companionship.

The story gets a big charge from three local theater talents whose work hasn't been seen much on professional stages of late. Alexander and Bauer show a real fondness for their characters, and director Roz Potenza displays a nice touch with the delicate material.

Bringing Up Bobby (2009)

Christian filmmakers Glowing Nose is run by twin brothers Nick and Chris Staron. Their first feature film, Between the Walls, dealt with a difficult personal histories of a largely dysfunctional family.

They've followed up that darker subject with the lighthearted comedy called Bringing Up Bobby. The story revolves around a Bobby (Alex Hinsky), who is challenged by his older brother James (Mark Thompson) to figure out who he is and where he stands with God.

And that's where the mayhem begins! The entire family ends up coming back together at their childhood home to haggle over the will of their long-dead parents... it took 12 years to get an official cause-of-death.

In the meantime, Bobby meets Liz, the girl of his dreams, who wants him to demonstrate his affection. His attempts and numerous failures lead to many laughs.

Kudos do to Hinsky as Bobby and Brian Morvant as the milk drinking loner Dennis potentially on the run from Russian anarchists. Morvant, especially, was funny every moment he was up on screen.

Brian Morvant as Dennis

The Staron brothers do a wonderful job of tackling Christian topics within a comedic environment. It makes for a funny Christian family film.

One of the things I appreciated more than anything is that not all of their story lines are wrapped up into some nicely packaged happy endings. Humanity is sloppy and even God leaves situations with challenges so that we can continue to live our faith.

Hinksey as Bobby and Thompson as James

After espousing various ways we can save the Christian film industry over at our Sonlight Pictures blog, I put my money where my faith was and purchased this DVD. Hats off to the Staron brothers for putting it in the mail almost immediatley after my purchase. I was pleasantly surprised to find it in my mailbox two days later.

It's little things like that, simple ways of providing quality customer service, that goes a very long way to developing customer loyalty.

I look forward to the next effort from Glowing Nose.

Crawford Gets All-Star MVP

In a quick and entertaining All-Star game, Tampa Bay Ray Carl Crawford became the MVP by making one catch... an important catch, robbing Colorado Rockies Brad Hawpe of a go-ahead home run.

The American League ended up beating the National League for the 13th straight year, 4-3.

It was weird to see so many Rays on the All-Star team (Crawford, Longoria, Bartlett, Zobrist and Pena). For a decade this team was laughable at best and painful at worst. Amazing to see the turn-around. I wonder how much longer they can keep this team together. Another year... maybe?

Better enjoy it while it lasts.

DC Turns 16

Ahh, childhood.

As we move from being a child to being an adult it seems that every year or two there is some major event tied to your birthday.

13 - now officially a teenager.
15 - can get a driver's permit.
16 - can drive on your own.
17 - can see R rated movies
18 - can vote
21 - can legally drink

A short time ago my daughter turned 16. Since my daughter's 16th birthday coincided with the same year of my wife's 40th birthday, about a month ago we spent a day at Discovery Cove swimming with the dolphins.

It was a wonderful and relaxing time. We snorkled with enough schools of fish to create a large aquatic college, lazed around in a warm relaxing river and spent 1/2 hour with a dolphin name Tyler, who presented Dorothea with a Sweet 16 buoy.

Yesterday, however, was the actual anniversary date of my daughter's birth, so we, along with some of her close friends and relatives, went to Arigato's for dinner. We all had a wonderful time, despite the fact that our waitress had the personality of a doormat.

Afterwards we went home and devoured another of Dea's fine cake creations.

Dea has a knack for making wonderfully creative cakes. Over the years she has made a Frankenstein cake, a piano cake, a movie popcorn and drink cake, and a baseball cake.

This year she made a three layered, colorful, yet elegant cake with home made chocolate hearts attached around the bottom... 16 of them.

We finished off the evening by watching a very funny film called Noises Off. The 1992 movie is based on a play and stars Carol Burnett, Michael Caine, John Ritter, Christopher Reeve, Nicollete Sheridan, Mary Lou Henner and Deholm Elliot, among others. The film is about a play being put on and traveling around the country.

The first act shows the dress rehearsal and how the play is supposed to happen.

The second act is entirely behind the set and shows how the play and the relationships between the cast and crew has deteriorated over the months.

The third act again shows the play from the front and how complete anarchy has enveloped the performance.

It's one of D.C.'s favorite films and we've loved the it for a long time. There are two bad words that we always conveniently mute keeping it excessively tame by today's PG-13 rating. D.C. and I were concerned that it was more funny to us than others because of our love of movies and our experiences in theater.

Our fears quickly subsided as the group of D.C.'s friends laughed hysterically from beginning to end. We laughed so often and so loudly that Dea's parents took the movie home with them so they could see what the fun was all about.

Afterward the girls hunkered down around the dining room table for an extensive and humorous bout of girl talk.

The evening finally ended around 10:00 PM.

As I went to bed I could not believe my little girl was 16 years old. I remembered her birth, holding her in my arms, feeling her baby breath against my cheek. It all seems like it happened yesterday.

Amazing how time flies.

I'm just happy she had a memorable birthday to remember.

The Da Vinci Hoax (2004)

When Michael Moore's documentary came out a few years ago criticizing the American health care system while extolling the virtues of the Cuban socialist health system, I got into an interesting discussion about the topic with a co-worker. At the end of the debate about the validity of Moore's work I asked my co-worker a simple question...

"Which is easier, making a film that shows American health system as vastly better than Cuba's or the other way around?"

My co-worker responded "That's easy, America's."

"Then you have to wonder the true intent of someone who does the opposite," I replied.

The same basic scrutiny can be used when looking at Dan Brown's work in The Da Vinci Code and Angels & Demons with his attack on Christianity as a whole and the Catholic Church specifically.

My mother was scanning books at a bookstore up in Georgia and spied one of which she thought would have an interest to me. She was right.

The book is called The Da Vinci Hoax. It's a wonderful book that expertly dissects the massive misinformation abounding in the pages of Brown's work and, more importantly, discusses the drivers behind the author's attempts to undermine the world's greatest religion.

How much garbage is in Brown's book? Well, it takes almost 300 pages in Hoax to cover all of the areas of misinformation. That means there sure is a lot of garbage to clean up!

Brown states that his material is thoroughly researched and historically accurate. He also states that history is written by winners and can't be trusted. So... what, Dan? Are you saying I shouldn't trust your version of history either????

That's just one of the basic red lights that flash about his work.

While raising my children I have tried to instill in them the idea that they should take all of their family responsibility seriously, even the small tasks. I would say to them, "if I can't trust you to take out the garbage when you're supposed to, how can I trust you with something more important?"

The same holds true for researchers claiming to uncovered some hidden truth. Case and point... Brown repeatedly states that "the Vatican" was doing this and that in various parts of history. Unfortunately, many of these events occured prior to "the Vatican" even existing. He should have said "the Church" or "the Catholic Church." But he didn't. Not a big deal, perhaps, but I go back to the phrase, "if you can't get the simple things right, why should I trust you on the big things?" How hard is it to understand that the Church is an entity and the Vatican is a place?

Look Dan, I already understand it after writing one sentence. How did it slip through that enlightened mind of your's? Probably because you were uncovering the whole conspiracy behind the Church/Vatican trying to weed Mary Magdelene out of Church history by refusing to ackowlege her as the "true" Holy Grail.

There's a lot of simple problems with that theory, Dan. If the Church/Vatican wanted to eliminate MM from Church history they simple DON'T HAVE TO MENTION HER IN THEIR STORIES/GOSPELS! I don't believe MM was mentioned by non-Gospel writers, so if the apostles were so intimidated by her place in Church history, all they had to do was simply NOT TALK ABOUT HER.

Second point, Danny boy... you say MM and JC were married and had kids and that JC survived the crucifixion and the apostles covered it up, blah, blah, blah, I have to ask you another simple question... WHY?

Why would the apostles sacrifice their life so JC and MM could have children? What did they possibly have to gain? The Church was not a powerful empire, it was a group of a couple of hundred people who were at odds with the Romans, the Jews and the Gentiles. So, why would they do that? Please, inspire me with a simple, logical answer, Mr. Brown. Well, while you're mulling that over, I have a few more questions...

You really think JC survived the crucifixion? Did you not do ANY research on Roman crucifixions? Or Roman law? Or health care back then?

Lastly, Brown goes on and on about how Da Vinci's painting shows the true meaning of the "Holy Grail" claiming that John sitting next to Jesus in the Last Supper painting was actually MM. And that Peter's depiction of a knife near John's/MM's throat shows that the church wanted to "decpitate" MM's power.


Ugh... Dan, Dan, Dan. I go back to my America/Cuba example. Every credible art and church historian explains the imagery... John, the youngest, would not have a beard. Peter's knife is a visual precursor to his use of the sword in the Garden later in the evening. And the picture itself is supposed to be the moment after Jesus told them there was a betrayer in their midst.

But what about this missing "Grail" Dan would ask? Well, Dan, if you were to simply LOOK at the painting you would see that EVERYONE has a cup in front of them. There is no need for a Grail to be passed around. The Grail isn't missing. It isn't necessary!

That's just some of the "Hello, Danny B., time to get your head out of your anti-Christian buttocks!" you'll find in the many detailed pages of The Da Vinci Hoax.

So why would DB take material from sketchy sources to compile a "historically accurate" alternative view of Christianity?

Because it appears that Dan Brown is all about the Sacred Feminine. And that the masculine Church has apparently been suppressing it all of these centuries. It's all very new-ageish and uses extreme feminist wishlists and imaginary tales to convey the glory that is the Sacred Feminine.

So that's his intent. He tells us to ignore history while presenting his own version of it. He ignores long-standing credible research and embraces Gnostic and feminists views of deity and muddles it all together into a mishmash of elaborate poppycock called The Da Vinci Code. Ignore it at all costs.

I do, however, strongly suggest everyone read The Da Vinci Hoax. There is so much more information on the misinformation Brown spins about the Templars, the Priory of Sion, Constantine, the Crusades, the Inquisitions, Da Vinci's volume of work, his relationship with the Church, etc., etc.

The short of it is this... Brown is a very bad historian with an anti-Christian axe to grind, period. He should be mocked or ignored, but never taken seriously.

My Daughter is a Geek

My daughter is a geek. And she doesn't mind.

I introduced the original series of Star Trek to my son and daughter about two years ago when I borrowed the DVDs from my brother Charles. Ever since then she's been hooked.

When the new Star Trek movie came out, she loved it and ordered a new crew t-shirt from a cereal box promotion. She picked the red one because she always got a kick out of the fact that the security guards, in red shirts, were the first to go whenever Kirk and friends beam down anywhere.

If she starts going to Trek conferences, then I'll get worried.

So, here she is, all geeked up and happy.

Club God Wins Bronze Lighthouse Award at the Faith Film Festival

We're very excited to announce that our short film Club God won the Bronze Lighthouse Award at the Faith Film Festival!

It is such a wonderful blessing to have our first project garner such an acknowledgment from the Christian film community. We could not have done it without the support of many, including the prayers from our Sonlight Pictures Angels community!

God is good!

Dillinger Lore

My father once told me a wonderful story. It was so vivid and detailed that I visualized it my mind as the words left his mouth. It was a story of mystery and intrigue and included a chance meeting with a notorious historical figure.

It was the story of how my family crossed paths with John Dillinger.

It's October 19, 1933, Peru, Indiana. My grandfather, John Bauer, worked for the railroad his entire career. He and his wife Margaret, along with their 11 kids, lived near the railroad tracks and not far from the rail yard.

One of the unfortunate outcomes of the Great Depression was the advent of hobos... unemployed men who would illegally travel the rails across the country looking for work.

If houses near the railroad tracks were willing to feed hobos they would put a mark on their back door. Hobo's would then knock on these marked houses and be given a meal to eat while sitting on the back stoop.

My father said that one day he was playing with his friends at the back of the house when a hobo knocked on the back door and asked for food. As she would always do, Margaret fed the man, who ate his food sitting on the back stairs. As my father and his friends watched this one particular hobo, they noticed he seemed a little different. His clothes weren't as ragged as most of the hobos that usually come along and he seemed to be cleaner than the others that had stopped by.

After the man finished his meal he walked down the tracks to the railroad roundhouse where the trains are turned around. My father and his friends continued following the hobo and hid behind a train as they spotted him get into a rather large black limousine and drive away.

He'd never seen a hobo eat a free meal and then get into an expensive car. It didn't make sense. And that's why my father remembered the story.

The next day my grandmother looked at the local paper and recognized a picture of the hobo on the front page.

It was John Dillinger.

He had held up the Peru Police Station.

My father said it was the first time he had ever heard my grandmother curse.

That's the story I remember.

Now, I don't know if it's 100% accurate, but I sure do like it. Here's what I do know...

• I know my grandfather worked for the railroad in Peru, Indiana.
• I know on October 16, 1933 John Dillinger and his gang barely escaped a raid of 100 men in Hamilton, Ohio and would have been trying to stay below the radar on October 19th.
• I know that Dillinger then held up and robbed the Peru Police Station on October 20, 1933.

What I don't know if this story sounds familiar from any of our other relatives.

For whatever reason this version of the story has stuck with me, clearly in my mind, for over 30 years. As my father told me, I saw each moment in my head as if it were happening to me. I was so enthralled with the idea as a child, with the connection to a legendary gangster, that it has stayed with me.

I am so fond of this story that I am reluctant to ask a very important question to my family...

...is it true?

Dea Turns 40!

My wife can read my mind. Granted, that probably doesn't take a lot of effort or skill, but the end result is the same... surprising her is very difficult.

I've only been able to pull this off twice in our lives together.

EVENT #1: THE TWELVE DAYS OF MARRIAGE
Before we were married I surprised her with the 12 Days of Marriage. Every day in the 12 days leading up to our wedding day, I surprised her with a new gift...

Day 1: A rose.
Day 2: Two bottles of wine.
Day 3: Three words (I love you balloon)
Day 4: Four corners of the Earth (a small globe)
Day 5: Five points of a star (Star earrings)
Day 6: A six pack of beer (it's Dea, after all)
Day 7: The seven seas (a ship in a bottle)
Day 8: Eight baths (scented candles, soaps, etc. for relaxation)
Day 9: Nine Months (a baby doll to represent the nine months of pregnancy for our future children)
Day 10: Ten months (a calendar, we had been dating 10 months)
Day 11: My headshot (because, let's face it, I'm better than a 10)
Day 12: A dozen roses.

Each day she waited with anticipation at what she would receive next. It was romantic and brilliant.

It's was a once in a lifetime moment of inspiration.

It also set the bar unrealistically high.

EVENT #2: 30th BIRTHDAY PARTY
As my wife's 30th birthday rolled around, I was feeling the pressure. She had offered not too subtle hints that she wanted something special. However, her psychic ability would thwart my plans.

For example, one day I was sitting next to her on the couch and I said "I know what I'll do for your birthday." She looked over to me and said "I don't want to go to New York."

That's exactly what I was thinking! A surprise trip to New York City! How did she know that?!?

So, I had to come up with something more complex. A surprise birthday party would be good, but how would I get her to lower her psychic abilities long enough for me to pull it off?

I enlisted some accomplices. I had just started working at my current employer on the IT Helpdesk. My boss was a woman named Lia. Lia had moved down from Philadelphia and was new to the area, so Dea was helping out by being a nanny to Lia's kids.

I told Lia to tell my wife that there may be a chance that I'd have to go to our plant in Penang, Malaysia on business around her birthday. Why Malaysia? Because it takes 18 hours to get there and if my wife thought I was on a flight she would know I would not be available for almost a complete day. This was before cell phones and it would allow me to implement my surprise party without her expecting me to call in and thereby allow her psychic powers to uncover my plans.

I also had our travel department write up a fake flight itinerary, which I showed her, explaining my departure times, arrival times, hotel, etc.

When the time came I packed up my bags and had someone from work "take me to the airport" (his house). Unfortunately the house's air conditioning was on the fritz so I was stuck inside, sweltering. But it was worth it.

My in-laws took my wife out for dinner and I went home to prepare the party. Dea's sister drove down from Atlanta and her Aunt flew in from Las Vegas. Aunt Nancy had taken a picture of Dea's face, made copies of it, cut out holes around the eyes and put them on sticks so they could be used as masks. When Dea walked in the door she would see a wall of Dea's.

When she finally arrived she was completely taken by surprise. And walking into a room full of people sporting her face kinda freaked her out. Her panic quickly subsided when she saw her sister and Aunt. She squealed with excitement and tears rolled down her face.

When I finally approached her she looked at me with glazed confusion. “What are you doing here?!?!” she asked, completely stumped.

“It’s a surprise party, isn’t it?” I replied. And she gave me a long, wonderful bear hug.

40th CONUNDRUM:
So, here I was, my wife's 40th birthday approaching and she subtly relays her expectations to me one day by saying “I want to be surprised. I want thought put into it.”

Okay, she’s Italian, not subtle.

I brainstormed with my kids… how do we surprise my psychic wife AGAIN? How do we buy her something she wants when she NEVER buys anything for herself? I don’t even know what she would buy if she allowed herself to indulge! The only thing we'd seen her buy was dish towels, pots, pans, and shampoo.

So, I took an alternate path. Instead of trying to surprise her, I just wouldn’t tell her what I was doing. I would tell her enough to fulfill her psychic impulses, but not enough to spill the details.

She knew we were having a small gathering of friends. She knew it was going to be at our house. But that was it.

The issue of what to buy ended up not being that difficult at first. I learned she had wanted an I-Touch for some time, so that was the high end gift. But, that wouldn’t really surprise her. So I went to Target and got a bunch of items, starting with a cheap plastic brush to wash dishes up to a new car stereo to replace the pathetic, French-made piece of Le’ Crap I had put in her car a few years before.

In all there were about 20 gifts.

But, how would I give them to her?

Turning 40 is a pretty traumatic event for a lot of people. My wife was no exception. For the weeks leading up to that fateful day her mood soured. She scowled and couldn’t believe her youth was quickly vanishing.

I tried to help out by adding phrases to the end of my sentences like "...because you're almost 40!" or "...that's probably because you're a lot older now."

She appreciated it. I could tell.

Playing on the "aging and you're old and really old and you should feel old because you're definitely old" thing, I decided to test Dea with a memory test. For each correct answer, she would get a gift.

I emailed a lot of friends and family and had them send me fond memories of events that they had shared with Dea. I’d read the event and if she could guess the author, she’d get the prize.

If she guessed wrong, she got pelted.

Being a big fan of the Japanese game show MXC, the kids and I crumpled up one of my old screenplays into a large waste basket full of paper balls (enter barb about the script being garbage worthy here).

For every answer she got wrong, the attendees of the party would pelt her with paper.

I thought of getting squirt guns or something more messy, but I know my wife and if people were spraying water around the inside of her house, the evening would have ended with her in bloody handcuffs and my cold body resting in a shallow grave in the backyard.

All and all, the evening was a great success. Everyone had fun, I think. We shared snacks and wine and a delicious ice-cream cake. And hearing all of the fond memories of Dea gave a certain tenderness to the night’s events.

To Dea's credit, her 40 year old memory held up quite well! She got almost all of the memories correct! We were impressed.

Now I have to start thinking about her 50th birthday. If I work hard every day for the next 10 years, I may just be able to pull off something she doesn’t expect... maybe.

I may have to book a fake flight to the Space Station, but I've got time to doctor the paperwork.

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Epic Lightning Storm

Last night around 11:00 PM as the kids were getting ready for bed a lightning bolt struck near our house. The lights flickered, but stayed on and the house shuttered with the boom of thunder.

It was the beginning of an hour-long lightning storm more intense than any I had ever witnessed while living here in Tampa Bay, the lightning capital of the United States.

My kids were a little nervous, so I told them that, when I was a child, I would turn off the lights, open the window blinds and watch the storms as they went through my neighborhood.

The kids liked the idea so I plopped down on the couch, Gabe hunkered down on the floor and Dorothea reclined in a comfy chair while we took in God's light show.

It was an amazing thing to see. For 60 solid minutes the sky was never dark, not even for a second. There was strike after strike after strike and heat lightning crackled across the sky from cloud to cloud.

The only way I can effectively describe it is as if you were watching a fluorescent bulb flickering across the sky with occasional blasts of bright, white light and roaring thunder.

We watched our neighbors roof as it strobed back lit from the lightning in the distance and flashed white with lightning behind us.

Like watching a firework display, the kids and I marveled at the extent and intensity of the storm. We just kept expecting the storm to pass, the lightning to subside, but it continued non-stop, more than one lightning strike per second for over 60 minutes.

We were fortunate to have seats next to the storm and not be stuck in the middle of it. The brunt of the storm moved west of our location so we simply laid back and watch in awe at the amazing power unleashed by God's nature.

The kids and I joked and laughed and watched in disbelief as our dark living room flickered with the light display pulsing around our house. It made us realize how powerful God can be and how powerless we are in such situations.

It was one of those nights that we'll never forget.

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