Homesick (1988)

Ah, Homesick. For a long time, I hated this project. Not so much that it's all that bad, but that it's so much less than what I had envisioned it to be.

I had been in the theater department at the University of Florida for four years and had been surrounded by plays. So, when I wrote this script, it wasn't so much a movie, but a play on video. A little too wordy, not too interesting visually... and that means the acting had to be solid and the story had to be excellent.

The acting, for the most part, is competent. However, the story is average. It was my first real script... my first attempt at trying to convey a real plot and it suffers from a lack of focus. The story, about a son who comes home after a long absence, had one major flaw: the conflict was between a father and son and the impact of alcoholism on their relationship. But, instead of writing a story about the son confronting the father, it's about the son sharing this long-burning conflict with his mother while the father is not there... an inherently weak dramatic choice. But, you learn by doing.

The reason behind the visual cinematic weakness of Homesick was due to the fact that this was the first project that I didn't storyboard completely. I tried to use a shot list instead of storyboards. What I learned is that I am much more visually creative when I have time to flesh out the storyboards than I am while on the set.

We shot the project in a friend's house over a single 36-hour period. It was exhausting and I'm surprised how well the performances held up, considering how exhausted we were. I used my acting friends from college. Most of them came prepared. One didn't know his lines. Another did it in spite of the fact that she was recovering from having her wisdom teeth removed... what a trooper! I was able to convince a local cable producer, Amy Laakman, to get involved in the project. She was aching to do something creative and we shot it on 3/4" video. In the end, the project suffers from lacking of preparation (no storyboards) and lack of sleep (missing shots which are not noticeable to anyone but me).

Personal Note: During the same weekend of the shoot I was also running the light board at the Constans Theater for UF's summer show Something's Afoot (I think that was the name). After shooting for 36 hours straight I had to go to the theater and run the light board. I was so tired, I laid across the chair with my hand up on the light board. The girl handling audio would wake me when a light queue was coming up and I'd bolt up, hit the queue and then lay back down.

The Job Interview

Here's another skit I've made... will probably air on a future Theater of the Obvious segment during a Basking in the Son podcast.

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The Job Interview
By Pete Bauer

JANE

Next?

DENNIS approaches the desk.

DENNIS

Hi, my name is Dennis. I'm here for a job interview?

JANE

You've come to the right place. Our company is growing leaps and bounds.

DENNIS

Company? You mean the government.

JANE

It's all the same now-a-days, isn't it? Government, company, unions, politicians... the lines are so blurry now, I've lost track. So, what job did you want to interview for?

DENNIS

Well...

(opens up paper)

...you listed quite a few here. Here's one I think that I could do very well. Treasurer. I have an extensive background in accounting. I actually ran my own successful accounting firm... that is before the economic downturn. I'm well versed in all of the various state tax requirements and-

JANE

(interrupts)

-Have you paid your taxes on time?

DENNIS

Yes!

JANE

Every year?

DENNIS

Of course!

JANE

Oh... well, that's too bad. We're really looking for someone that hasn't paid their taxes to manage the treasury.

DENNIS

I... I don't understand.

JANE

We're the government, sweet heart. We follow slightly different rules than the "little people."

DENNIS

I see...

JANE

Any other openings spark your fancy?

DENNIS

Um... yes! Well, I see here you are looking for someone to help define safe schools. Well, my mother was a principal for 40 years and I spent most of my college years helping her with-

JANE

(excited)

Ooo, that sounds good. Let me ask you a question! Let's say a student, 15 years old, comes to you and says that they're having intimate relations with an older man. What would you do?

DENNIS

Oh, that's simple! Such an act would be statutory rape. Therefore, I would counsel the student, while notifying the authorities, so the older man could be prosecuted for such a horrible crime with a child.

JANE

(disappointed)

Oh!

DENNIS

What?

JANE

You were so close! But, no, the right answer is to do nothing. Or, in certain cases, actually encourage the relationship.

DENNIS

But we're talking about rape.

JANE

"Rape." What is "rape" now-a-days?

DENNIS

Well... I think they've written laws about that.

JANE

"Laws." What are "laws" now-a-days?

DENNIS
Okay...

(scans paper)

... what about health czar?

JANE

Uh-huh...You're too healthy.

DENNIS

How about Chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee?

JANE

You paid your taxes.

DENNIS

Health and Human Services Secretary?

JANE

Taxes!

DENNIS

How about Green Jobs Czar?

JANE

Ooo, are you a capitalist?

DENNIS

Of course!

JANE

Too bad.

DENNIS

Well... is there anything available that you think I'm qualified for in the government?

JANE

Oh! It says right here you are currently a lobbyist.

DENNIS

That's right. I was afraid you'd ask me about that. I know the President stated he wouldn't hire lobbyists. He said it wasn't ethical.

JANE

"Ethics." What are "ethics" now-a-days!

(smiles)

So, when can you start?

Microcinema Flashback - What I Want To Be When I Grow Up (2000)

In this flashback article from November of 2000, I delve into my own internal struggle of not reaching my own personal expectations, no matter how unrealistic they may have become.

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What I Want To Be When I Grow Up
by Pete Bauer

One of the most common challenges young filmmakers have to face is unrealistic expectations. Not of their abilities, but of the time frame of their success. As the elder statesman of this group (I'm assuming as I'm just over 30) I can tell you that when you think things should happen and when they will likely happen are two very different things. Take whatever time frame you have in your head for when you think you should be a success and multiply it by five.

Jason Santo's article "Well, I'm Kinda Doing What I Want..." was stunning to me because, only a few years ago I went through the same internal struggle... "am I selling out?" By who's definition are we defining "selling out?" The way Hollywood spews out its hype, if you're not a feature director by 21 you're over the hill. That's crap.

Not everyone can be a prodigy like Spielberg or Orson Welles. That's what makes them so special, because they are so far outside of the norm. The reality for every single person I know in show business that has had ANY sort of lasting success (i.e., working regularly) is that they have dedicated 10 years of hard work to becoming an "overnight sensation."

That's the average. And that's working at it everyday.

Probably the most important thing I've learned about people so far is that they do what they want to do. Never pay attention to what people say, only to what they do. If people want to lose weight, they do. If they want to change careers, they do. If they want to get out of a relationship, they do. It's about priorities and pain. When something becomes painful enough, you change, whether it's a career, a relationship, eating habits, etc.

So, if you really want to be a major film director then move to Hollywood, learn how to kiss people's asses and work your way up the food chain. Start as a runner (getting coffee, running errands) on any studio shoot and go from there. I've been a runner before and I've met people who think they're too good to be a runner. But, to quote a friend of mine who's a VP at Nickelodeon Studios, "If you can't run errands right, what makes you think someone is going to let you do anything else?" EVERY person I've met who works behind the camera, including the VP, started out as a runner, so don't expect the rules to be different for you.

For me, it took me a LONG time to realize that what I was saying to people was one thing, but what I was doing was something else. I kept saying I was going to move to California and start my way up, but the reality was that I was doing the exact opposite. It took me quite some time to realize that my wife and, at that time, newborn daughter were more important to me and the reason I wasn't moving. I realized that it was more painful to me to move my wife and kid across the country just so I could be a runner than it was to stay put for a little while and just focus on writing. I realized that raising my child (and now children) in a safe area with family nearby was more important than trying to reach some unrealistic time frame of success.

So, I refocused my energies and decided to write as much as possible. Recently, I've decided to add shooting no-budget flicks to my creative plate. I've finally realized how the realities of my life are going to fit into my life-long goal of being a filmmaker.

Whatever you really want to do, you'll do. Just recognize it and accept it, then go from there. This isn't a sprint, but a marathon. It's not important how long it takes to reach your goals, only what you're doing while you get there.

All of you making shorts and features with your friends right now will become much better story tellers when your opportunity arrives. If you keep plugging away you WILL get your opportunity, so be as prepared as you possibly can. Shoot as many projects as you can. Become a better writer, director, actor... whatever you want to do. Do it as often as you can. Like anything else, you'll get better the more you do it.

I spent years focusing only on writing. I've had a modicum of success at that and I keep working at it. Now I'm also focusing on directing and creating as many no-budget projects as my time and resources will allow. If you're truly passionate about telling stories, then you're in it for the long haul. Just keep focused on the goal and you'll reach it...

THE TERM PAPER (1986)

This is a personal favorite of mine. My short film The Term Paper is about a college student who realizes, at midnight, that a major term paper is due the next morning.

This was based on a true story. My girlfriend at the time, Sue AmRhein, had to write a term paper. She started by using her electric typewriter (personal computers were available, but expensive... poor college kids didn't have them as they do today... boy I sound old!). The typewriter broke and she ended up having to finish it by handwriting it on lined paper. I took that experience, added about 10 more obstacles and story boarded the whole thing.


We actually shot this film on film! Super-8 silent to be exact. My brother, Paul, and his wife bought me a Super-8 camera as a present for getting accepted into the College of Fine Arts at UF. So, I story boarded out the story and bought the film. We shot it over a single weekend in June of 1986. I rented a couple of lights, but really had no idea what I was doing. Ended up we could have used only one of the lights, because it was so strong you couldn't see the effects of the other two lights on the film. Again, another lesson learned.

The end result is a 30-ish minute film, costing about $400.00, that still holds up today. Digitizing this project is a lot more lengthy, because the transfer to video has caused some color distortion. There's a company out there that does flicker-free digitization of films. I'm going to have this gem transferred to DVD soon.

Personal Note: At one point in the story, the Student kills a cockroach crawling across his dining room table by dousing the creature in an immense, non-stop shower of bug spray. Moments later, his cigarette falls out of the ashtray and onto the trail of bug spray, causing it to ignite, travel across the table and lighting his incomplete term paper on fire. Paul was working as a Chemist in Shands Hospital and got a hold of pure alcohol.

Did you know that when pure alcohol burns, it's invisible? I didn't either. Paul did. But, that's why he ended up an Analytical Chemist. Anyway, it's the impurities that cause the flame. So, we added a WHOLE bunch of salt to the alcohol and set up a trough out of aluminum foil on the top of the outer edge of the table. Since the camera would be below the table, looking up, you wouldn't see this aluminum trough traveling around the table top.

So, we roll camera, pour the alcohol and light it. It works great! The flame slowly travels from one part of the table to the other. In the end, I believed that I could simply blow this flame out. Bad assumption on my part. In the film, you can actually see me try to blow the flame out, see it still raging and mouth to myself the word "Shoot" (but not "Shoot"). The flame ended up being MUCH larger than we anticipated.

Fortunately, we were prepared. Mike Beckett, a friend and fellow actor in the short, was standing by with a fire extinguisher. He sprayed the fine powder all along the trough, reaching the end. However, a small flame still survived, and the entire trough went up in flames again. Mike hit the flames again with the sputtering remains of the extinguisher and it, luckily, put the fire out.

The room was a total disaster. We had to take all of the furniture out of the house, wipe off the extinguisher powder and vacuum the entire apartment. In the end, though, it's a pretty cool effect!

And, after all, isn't that the point?

Microcinema Flashback - The Grass is Always Greener (2000)

Near the end of last century, when I first started moving from professional entertainment production to independent film production, I got involved with the microcinema revolution. For the first time in history you could shoot your own project, edit it on a computer without degradation, create your own DVDs and distribute them over the internet. It was a brave new world.

I got heavily involved with a couple of new websites at the time, primarily one called REwind Video. Funny thing is, Jon Ashby, who started REwind with his friend Wally Fong, recently interviewed me about Club God for his new website Common Film. It was the first time we had actually spoken to each other, even though we had known each other online for 10 years.

Anyway, back to history... after some time of trolling the microcinema scene forums and websites, I started contributing articles which were published online. The first one is from October 2000 and was before I moved into Christian film with Sonlight Pictures. I realized later that the Lord was using my years as a microcinema filmmaker to prepare me for Sonlight Pictures.

Since this blog will be ending this year, I thought that I'd take some time to officially document these prior online articles here in what I'll call Microcinema Flashbacks. They'll also eventually land in one of my blog books for my kids. Not that they're great reading, per se, but more about where I was as a filmmaker on my own faith journey.

I'm publishing them here in all of their original glory. There are words I wouldn't use today in them as well as a youthful, independent attitude that has dulled over the years, but the points of view certainly do express where I was as a film maker and as a husband and father during that time.

They'll be a lot of references to film companies and filmmakers that have long since abandoned their hopes of being professional filmmakers and settled down to a normal life. Amazing how things change in a decade.

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The Grass is Always Greener
by Pete Bauer

The one thing you can count on in life is that you're never satisfied. It's what's helped mankind overcome hardships, put a man on the moon and make the Porky's films. And when you and your buddies get together like the Little Rascals to "put on a show" you always wish you had more time, more money and, for some, more talent. Some of you are reaching for the ultimate goal of making a living making movies. I think we'd all love that. But, take it from someone who's been in television and film, making films with your buddies is some of the best times you'll ever have. Not only do you have creative control, but you also have the most important factor... fun.

I've been writing feature screenplays since high-school. Some have been bought, some have been made and some outright suck. I took my first dip into real filmdom when I co-wrote a film called ADRENALINE with a director friend of mine. She worked for years trying to raise the money to do it the old fashioned way and it was taking too long. So, she got with some stunt friends of hers and came up with a premise for a film. We banged out the script, READY, WILLING & ABLE, scrounged together an amazingly small amount of money and they shot it two years ago on film. It's got foreign distribution and they're still looking for domestic. And now they're back to the original cause, raising money for ADRENALINE again.

So, when I look at the big picture, I realized that I've been very fortunate. I've been able to live in the "dreaded" real world while my friends have done a lot of the grunt work in LALA Land. My friends been able to pound the Hollywood pavement while I've been able to stay in Florida, married and with a couple of great kids. In a lot of ways, my RWA co-horts are my heroes... their dedication and time involved in pursuing the completion of RWA has been amazing to me. But, in the same respect, I don't envy them at all. The day-to-day networking and ass-kissing seems inconceivable at times. I've participated as much as possible, but it didn't take me long to realize that I'd rather spend time with my children then with somebody who knows somebody who may have an uncle who just won the lottery and who may want to invest in a film that is important for my career, but not important to anyone else. But, in the time it's taken to get one film made and another working toward financing, a lot of you have made scores of short films. If your anything like the frenzied people at Random Foo and Pangaea, you've made 50 films in that time! So, the question is, who's better at telling stories? The people who made one film or the people who've made 50?

And the sad fact is that business of show business stinks. I went out to LA to go to the American Film Market and I've got to tell you the distribution process is offensive. In many ways it's legalized prostitution. You see so many people all trying to do the same thing and selling their creative souls in the process, each one trying to snatch the money out of the handful of people who have it. The end result is a mish-mash of similiar films with low-end actors in predictable stories. At least within the limited budgetary scope of RWA we tried to be unique in the characters and action, but, in the end, this probably hurt us more than help. And as broadband becomes more available to internet users, the distribution chains will evolve and you won't have to sell your soul to get someone other than your family to watch your stuff. REwind Theater is a perfect example. So, there is some light at the end of the distribution tunnel.

Everything comes down to priorities and sacrifice. And at this stage of my life, until I get an ungodly inheritance from some Uncle I've never met or my wife and kids decide they don't need to eat anymore, I've rejoined the ranks of the Amateurs again (and since I've made so little in filmdom so far, this isn't much of a leap). I've gone back to my Super-8 roots and have decided to "put on a show" called JUSTICE. When I'm done, I'll open it up for public scrutiny and mockery. I'll learn from it and move on to the next one. After all, we all just want to tell stories. Some are better at it than others, but the point is that we each have something to say. Do I still want to make "real" movies when I grow up? You bet. But, I've realized that getting my friends together to shoot a harmless flick is some of the best fun I can have.

Enjoy the process, enjoy the friendship and enjoy tapping into one of the basic human urges... telling stories. Because, we all know, our films probably aren't going to change the world, but they will change our world.

Baseball Lessons

There are a couple of things I love about baseball. One, I love spending the time with my son at the field, watching him do something in which he excels. It's wonderful to see him work hard, focus and overcome challenges to be a leader on the team.

Gabe pitching.

On a greater scale, the other thing I love about baseball (and this really goes for all team sports) are the life lessons that the kids learn through the process. I'm sure they won't even appreciate the lessons they're learning every practice, every game, but it is exciting to see them put them into practice.

Talking to the kids before the game.

When you're dealing with a group of young boys who are moving into young men, there is an opportunity there to set expectations higher and in the right direction. Children want to be grown-ups so badly, they just want to know how.

So, we spend a lot of time talking about personal responsibility. For example, younger, immature players, when the make an error, will whine and complain about how it wasn't there fault, there was this reason and that reason and blah, blah, blah. We've explained to our team of 13 year olds that young men, responsible men, take responsibility for their actions. If you make an error, admit to it, own it, and let your team you know won't make the mistake again. It's okay, you're going to make mistakes, it's how you react to those mistakes which shows your character.

Chatting with players in between innings.

We also talk about criticism. We explain that there are two types of criticism, the truth and someone who just doesn't get it. If it's the truth, no matter how that information is delivered, it's still the truth and the player knows it as such. So, if it comes from a coach yelling during a game or a fellow player trying to help out, the truth doesn't change just because you don't want to hear it. Be open to it, accept it and learn from it.

If criticism is from someone who just doesn't get it, and you don't recognize it as the truth, then thank them and ignore it. It's that simple. Don't fight it, don't get into an argument about it. Just move on.

Another lesson we talk about is controlling your anger. We tell the kids, that baseball is a game of failure. People who go to the hall of fame fail 7 out of 10 times. You have to be able to control your response to failure. You're allowed to feel any emotion you want, however you are not allowed to express it any way you want. That's called sportsmanship.

And, of course, the concept of teamwork. As part of a team, they realize that if they make a mistake, they all suffer. If they make a great play, they all succeed. If you help someone make a great play, we all succeed. If you sacrifice for the team, they all succeed.

And, finally, we talk about raising their expectations about themselves, about not wasting time in practice and about enjoying the game of baseball for what it is... a game.

The fruits of our labor,
Gabe hits an in-the-park home run.

I love watching these young men grow and improve as both players and people. It is the greatest gift of coaching... not the trophies or wins, though they are nice, but the time with these kids, watching them move from childhood to adulthood.

P90X

Back in the day, about 20 years ago, I used to work out a lot. I'd go to the gym five days a week, working out about three hours each day. I was trying to be a working actor at the time. My body was my product. My acting talent the other. So, like any other businessman, I spent a lot of time making my product the best it could be.

While spending so many hours in the gym, I was fortunate to have met and learned from a lot of professional body builders. Some of them where on steroids, while others were not. You could tell the difference. It wasn't subtle. However, they all had insight into proper work out techniques... not only in what exercises to work on, but in what order. The goal was to create muscle confusion.

What is muscle confusion? Well, God has made us with exceptional adaptive skills. It's what has allowed our species to have survived all this time. The more we do something with our body, the more the body becomes accustomed to it. We become more efficient, the work less stressful. Our muscles first grow, then adapt.

This is problematic when you're trying to get in shape or build muscle mass. You eventually reach this plateau where you no longer see results.


Overcoming this standard problem is the genius behind P90X. Tony Horton has put together a wonderful, tough and comprehensive workout program that does a few things very well...

First, it breaks down the exercises into bite sized morsels. Each exercise usually lasts under one minute. As he says in the exercise program, "You can do anything for 60 seconds!"

Second, it's always challenging. He shows you numerous ways to do the same exercise, depending on your strength level. So, no matter where you are strength wise, it remains applicable. And that goes the other way too... after finishing the 90 day plan, I still couldn't do what the advanced people could do.

Third, the DVDs are very well designed. You can use the same DVDs in various ways... with Tony talking you through it, with music and pointers only, with music only, with nothing. So, you don't get bored with the DVD because you've heard the same thing over and over again. After a few weeks, you'll use the music with pointers option the most. Keeps it fresh.

Fourth, Tony's entertaining. You'd think that it would be difficult to listen to the same guy say basically the same thing day after day, but Tony is an entertaining guy. And he pushes you to do better, but never more than you are capable. His phrase "do your best and forget the rest" is a welcomed reminder as the workouts push you.

Fifth, it's brilliantly designed. The workout DVDs are broken up into specific sections (Chest & Back one day, Plyometrics the next, Shoulders & Arms the next, etc.). You're always working more than one muscle group and you'll switch between the two. On Chest & Back, for example, you'll do mostly push-ups and pull-ups. But there are about 10 different types of push-ups and about six different types of pull-ups, and he mixes them up so you're not doing only push-ups and then only pull-ups.

You do a series of DVDs covering your entire body for three weeks, then you have a rest week where you do non-impact/non-heavy lifting exercises like kick boxing or stretching. The second month you start an entirely different set of DVDs which work the same areas, but in different combinations and using different exercises... which is what keeps your muscles confused, so you never reach the plateau.

After another rest week, on the last month you do a combination of all of the DVDs in different orders again. Again, to keep your muscles from getting complacent.

The results have been great. It was the only exercise program my wife has ever completed. Six days a week for three months, she and I did the exercises. In order to make sure we never gave up, we promised to do at least one rep of every exercise, no matter how tired.

It is amazing how much stronger and healthier we are. We've both lost inches and gained muscle. I've lost about three inches in my waist, my wife much more.

After a break where we had to deal with the air-condition being replaced, collapsing bathroom walls and the start of baseball, we've worked P90X back into our schedule. This time the kids are involved to...

I never thought I'd see my wife and kids working out with me at the same time, all lifting weights, all doing push-ups, all doing kick boxing. It's a very cool thing.

Granted, after two surgeries and 20 years, I'll never have the body I had when I was an actor, but I have not felt this healthy in over a decade. P90X is one of the most amazing workout programs I've ever done. It does all the right exercises in the right form in the right combination in a way that makes you want to complete it. As we like to say in our house, it is evil genius. Genius in it's design, evil in the amount of work it expects you to complete.

We've now made it part of our daily lives. We want to keep what we've built up and perhaps even get stronger and healthier. At this point in our lives, waiting to start tomorrow isn't really an option. We're not going to be any healthier tomorrow than we are today.

Thankfully, Dea saw the infomercial and was inspired to buy the program. It has changed all of our lives for the better.