The older I get the more strange it appears to me that so much of my expectations of life were created through ignorance in my youth. I set these unrealistic expected levels of accomplishment at a time when I had neither the experience nor understanding to make such goals... but I live the rest of my life bemoaning the fact as to whether I've lived up to them or not.
Since we change so much in our childhood, every year is monumental. There's a huge difference between eight and 10. When I'm 13 I can see PG-13 movies. When I'm 15 I can get a drivers permit. When I'm 16 I can drive by myself. When I'm 17 I can see R rated movies. When I'm 18 I can vote. When I'm 19 I'm in college. When I'm 21 I can drink and I graduate college. When I'm 22 I'll have a real job. When I'm 25 I'll get married. When I'm 30 I'll have kids... each of these steps, each of these years offer HUGE changes in our lives.
But then, the accomplishments just kinda stop. Once you have kids, it all changes. Life becomes pretty stagnate for you on a personal level. You go to the same basic job everyday, see the same people... you don't really go anywhere or do anything for yourself... only for the kids... baseball games, soccer practice, piano lessons, recitals, etc. Maybe a vacation thrown in there here and then.
It's so odd because I've found my wife and I just blocking off 10 years of our lives without a second thought. Before, every year meant something grand and different. The possibilities were endless. Now, it's like "when the kids graduate high school we can..."
When the kids graduate high school? That'll be almost 10 years from now. We've just wiped a decade out of our lives... put everything basically on hold for 10 years! And that's assuming all goes well, that our kids move out and attend college, don't move back home, get jobs, get married and have their own kids. If any one of those steps goes awry, you can add another five to 10 years to our estimate.
So, 20 years from now, Dea and I have MAJOR plans for ourselves. Until then, we'll pretty much do the same thing everyday.
Wow, that sounds depressing...
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And with all that hustle and bustle (What is a bustle?..M-W says "to be busily astir"...that clears it up!)we parents really have only one critical goal to achieve, accomplishment to check off. That we raised a soul to know, love and worship God. ALL else is secondary.
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