Homesick (1988)

Ah, Homesick. For a long time, I hated this project. Not so much that it's all that bad, but that it's so much less than what I had envisioned it to be.

I had been in the theater department at the University of Florida for four years and had been surrounded by plays. So, when I wrote this script, it wasn't so much a movie, but a play on video. A little too wordy, not too interesting visually... and that means the acting had to be solid and the story had to be excellent.

The acting, for the most part, is competent. However, the story is average. It was my first real script... my first attempt at trying to convey a real plot and it suffers from a lack of focus. The story, about a son who comes home after a long absence, had one major flaw: the conflict was between a father and son and the impact of alcoholism on their relationship. But, instead of writing a story about the son confronting the father, it's about the son sharing this long-burning conflict with his mother while the father is not there... an inherently weak dramatic choice. But, you learn by doing.

The reason behind the visual cinematic weakness of Homesick was due to the fact that this was the first project that I didn't storyboard completely. I tried to use a shot list instead of storyboards. What I learned is that I am much more visually creative when I have time to flesh out the storyboards than I am while on the set.

We shot the project in a friend's house over a single 36-hour period. It was exhausting and I'm surprised how well the performances held up, considering how exhausted we were. I used my acting friends from college. Most of them came prepared. One didn't know his lines. Another did it in spite of the fact that she was recovering from having her wisdom teeth removed... what a trooper! I was able to convince a local cable producer, Amy Laakman, to get involved in the project. She was aching to do something creative and we shot it on 3/4" video. In the end, the project suffers from lacking of preparation (no storyboards) and lack of sleep (missing shots which are not noticeable to anyone but me).

Personal Note: During the same weekend of the shoot I was also running the light board at the Constans Theater for UF's summer show Something's Afoot (I think that was the name). After shooting for 36 hours straight I had to go to the theater and run the light board. I was so tired, I laid across the chair with my hand up on the light board. The girl handling audio would wake me when a light queue was coming up and I'd bolt up, hit the queue and then lay back down.

The Job Interview

Here's another skit I've made... will probably air on a future Theater of the Obvious segment during a Basking in the Son podcast.

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The Job Interview
By Pete Bauer

JANE

Next?

DENNIS approaches the desk.

DENNIS

Hi, my name is Dennis. I'm here for a job interview?

JANE

You've come to the right place. Our company is growing leaps and bounds.

DENNIS

Company? You mean the government.

JANE

It's all the same now-a-days, isn't it? Government, company, unions, politicians... the lines are so blurry now, I've lost track. So, what job did you want to interview for?

DENNIS

Well...

(opens up paper)

...you listed quite a few here. Here's one I think that I could do very well. Treasurer. I have an extensive background in accounting. I actually ran my own successful accounting firm... that is before the economic downturn. I'm well versed in all of the various state tax requirements and-

JANE

(interrupts)

-Have you paid your taxes on time?

DENNIS

Yes!

JANE

Every year?

DENNIS

Of course!

JANE

Oh... well, that's too bad. We're really looking for someone that hasn't paid their taxes to manage the treasury.

DENNIS

I... I don't understand.

JANE

We're the government, sweet heart. We follow slightly different rules than the "little people."

DENNIS

I see...

JANE

Any other openings spark your fancy?

DENNIS

Um... yes! Well, I see here you are looking for someone to help define safe schools. Well, my mother was a principal for 40 years and I spent most of my college years helping her with-

JANE

(excited)

Ooo, that sounds good. Let me ask you a question! Let's say a student, 15 years old, comes to you and says that they're having intimate relations with an older man. What would you do?

DENNIS

Oh, that's simple! Such an act would be statutory rape. Therefore, I would counsel the student, while notifying the authorities, so the older man could be prosecuted for such a horrible crime with a child.

JANE

(disappointed)

Oh!

DENNIS

What?

JANE

You were so close! But, no, the right answer is to do nothing. Or, in certain cases, actually encourage the relationship.

DENNIS

But we're talking about rape.

JANE

"Rape." What is "rape" now-a-days?

DENNIS

Well... I think they've written laws about that.

JANE

"Laws." What are "laws" now-a-days?

DENNIS
Okay...

(scans paper)

... what about health czar?

JANE

Uh-huh...You're too healthy.

DENNIS

How about Chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee?

JANE

You paid your taxes.

DENNIS

Health and Human Services Secretary?

JANE

Taxes!

DENNIS

How about Green Jobs Czar?

JANE

Ooo, are you a capitalist?

DENNIS

Of course!

JANE

Too bad.

DENNIS

Well... is there anything available that you think I'm qualified for in the government?

JANE

Oh! It says right here you are currently a lobbyist.

DENNIS

That's right. I was afraid you'd ask me about that. I know the President stated he wouldn't hire lobbyists. He said it wasn't ethical.

JANE

"Ethics." What are "ethics" now-a-days!

(smiles)

So, when can you start?

Microcinema Flashback - What I Want To Be When I Grow Up (2000)

In this flashback article from November of 2000, I delve into my own internal struggle of not reaching my own personal expectations, no matter how unrealistic they may have become.

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What I Want To Be When I Grow Up
by Pete Bauer

One of the most common challenges young filmmakers have to face is unrealistic expectations. Not of their abilities, but of the time frame of their success. As the elder statesman of this group (I'm assuming as I'm just over 30) I can tell you that when you think things should happen and when they will likely happen are two very different things. Take whatever time frame you have in your head for when you think you should be a success and multiply it by five.

Jason Santo's article "Well, I'm Kinda Doing What I Want..." was stunning to me because, only a few years ago I went through the same internal struggle... "am I selling out?" By who's definition are we defining "selling out?" The way Hollywood spews out its hype, if you're not a feature director by 21 you're over the hill. That's crap.

Not everyone can be a prodigy like Spielberg or Orson Welles. That's what makes them so special, because they are so far outside of the norm. The reality for every single person I know in show business that has had ANY sort of lasting success (i.e., working regularly) is that they have dedicated 10 years of hard work to becoming an "overnight sensation."

That's the average. And that's working at it everyday.

Probably the most important thing I've learned about people so far is that they do what they want to do. Never pay attention to what people say, only to what they do. If people want to lose weight, they do. If they want to change careers, they do. If they want to get out of a relationship, they do. It's about priorities and pain. When something becomes painful enough, you change, whether it's a career, a relationship, eating habits, etc.

So, if you really want to be a major film director then move to Hollywood, learn how to kiss people's asses and work your way up the food chain. Start as a runner (getting coffee, running errands) on any studio shoot and go from there. I've been a runner before and I've met people who think they're too good to be a runner. But, to quote a friend of mine who's a VP at Nickelodeon Studios, "If you can't run errands right, what makes you think someone is going to let you do anything else?" EVERY person I've met who works behind the camera, including the VP, started out as a runner, so don't expect the rules to be different for you.

For me, it took me a LONG time to realize that what I was saying to people was one thing, but what I was doing was something else. I kept saying I was going to move to California and start my way up, but the reality was that I was doing the exact opposite. It took me quite some time to realize that my wife and, at that time, newborn daughter were more important to me and the reason I wasn't moving. I realized that it was more painful to me to move my wife and kid across the country just so I could be a runner than it was to stay put for a little while and just focus on writing. I realized that raising my child (and now children) in a safe area with family nearby was more important than trying to reach some unrealistic time frame of success.

So, I refocused my energies and decided to write as much as possible. Recently, I've decided to add shooting no-budget flicks to my creative plate. I've finally realized how the realities of my life are going to fit into my life-long goal of being a filmmaker.

Whatever you really want to do, you'll do. Just recognize it and accept it, then go from there. This isn't a sprint, but a marathon. It's not important how long it takes to reach your goals, only what you're doing while you get there.

All of you making shorts and features with your friends right now will become much better story tellers when your opportunity arrives. If you keep plugging away you WILL get your opportunity, so be as prepared as you possibly can. Shoot as many projects as you can. Become a better writer, director, actor... whatever you want to do. Do it as often as you can. Like anything else, you'll get better the more you do it.

I spent years focusing only on writing. I've had a modicum of success at that and I keep working at it. Now I'm also focusing on directing and creating as many no-budget projects as my time and resources will allow. If you're truly passionate about telling stories, then you're in it for the long haul. Just keep focused on the goal and you'll reach it...