What Drives Men

Okay... here's the skinny on Men. Pride. That's what drives us. We need our women to be proud of us. Above love, above happiness... pride. That's the thing. Learn it. Know it. Be it.

Men are inherently problem solvers. That's what we do. We see a problem, we solve it. We don't talk about it, we don't share our feelings about it, we figure it out and move on. And, the reward for this "gift" is that our women will appreciate our accomplishments... they will be proud of us.

So, those of the fairer sex, if you want to get your man to do what you want, tell them it will make you proud of them. They'll climb on a roof, strip naked and paint themselves with popcorn butter if you'll find that a worthy accomplishment. Really. We are that easy to manipulate.

This also plays into shopping. Men can't shop the way women do. Men find no value in the "experience" of shopping... none, nada, zippo. We go shopping because you want us to, but we hate every single measurable millisecond of the experience. If you are going to force your man to go shopping, give him something to achieve... tell him you're looking for a blue blouse and, wallah, we now have something to accomplish... our eyes will scour high and low looking for a blue blouse. It doesn't really matter if you're looking for a blue blouse. What matters is that we have something specific to hunt and gather. And, in the end, by bringing home the kill, you will be proud of us.

So, make us happy, tell us of those things we do that make you proud of us. We'll beam the rest of the day. Trust me on this one.

Shared Excitement... The Down Side

In my previous post I mentioned the critical moment in my life where my passion for filmmaking was expressed in my wife's excitement for my achievement.

She has also felt the downside of my passions. You see, ignorance is truly bliss. The more you know about filmmaking and television, the more critical you are of films you see. You're no longer watching with a passive eye, but with a critical one.

This was never more evident than about a year into my stint at Nickelodeon. My wife had been on set numerous times watching the taping of Clarissa Explains It All and had seen how the show was put together. One of the daily challenges for the lighting and sound crew are what are called Boom Shadows. On a sitcom, there are Boom Microphone operators that move the mics around the set, anticipating which actor will speak next and move the microphone into position accordingly. It's kinda cool to see finely tuned Boom Operators at work.

However, the lighting guys also have to light the set correctly. And the thing they often have to watch out for is that their light won't cause a shadow of the long boom microphone to show up against the set wall.

Well, one day, my wife and I are on the couch watching Roseanne on TV and during one scene we notice a Boom Shadow against the Roseanne set. My wife quickly blurts out "boom shadow"... then, realizing that the magic of television had been stripped from her, turned toward me and said in a slow, even voice.... "I hate you."

Her shared excitement of my filmmaking passions had led her down a path where the work behind the magic had been exposed and she could not help but watch television and films with a critical eye. That "loss of innocence" was palatible at that moment and her cinematic ignorance was lost forver.

Predictor Pete - Week Ten

The Bucs finished the first half of the season 5-3. If you were to tell me that before the season, I would have been very happy. However, knowing they were 4-0 at one point, albiet against very poor teams, it's hard to swallow three loses in their last four games.

So, they enter the "third quarter" of the season against the surprising Washington Redskins. The Redskins have a tough defense and a QB playing younger than his age.

For all intents and purposes, the Bucs should lose this game. The Redskins are on the rise. The Bucs have been on the slide. But, something tells me this game, the ball will bounce their way. The close plays will result in turnovers for our defense and running for our offense. It'll be close, but for no logical reason, I think the Bucs can do it.

My Heart: Redksins 17-14.
My Mind: Redskins 17-10.
My Colon: Redskins 21-17.

My Pick: Bucs 20-17...

The score will more than likely fall in line with my colon's pick, but something tells me the Bucs will do it this week. We need a running game. We need third down conversions. We need to win the turnover battle.

My Record: 5- 3... just like the Bucs.

They Now Have An Offense...

My brother Charles and his wife Betty are the proud parents of their 11th child. Stephen Peter Bauer was born yesterday, weighing in at 9 lbs 1 oz. They can now officially field the offensive side of a football team.

Not only are the other 10 of their kids simply great kids, but the 11th's middle name is my first name. It took a LONG time to get this far. You see, I'm the last of seven kids. Charles and Betty named each of their boys with the middle names of each of Charles' brothers first names, in chronological order. Does that make sense? So, it took 11 kids for them to have enough boys so my name would be included in the mix.

I couldn't be happier for them. Welcome to the family, Stephen.

Shared Excitement

My wife amazes me. She is such a better person than I am. Her ability to put up with me and those things that drive me, my passions, continues to astound me.

I've wanted to make movies since I was nine years old. When my wife married me, she married that part of me as well. Even though she does not share that passion or drive, she loves me enough that my goals peripherally become her's.

The first time this was most evident was in the mid-90s. I was working at Nickelodeon Studios in Orlando. We were newly married and life was nothing but opportunities waiting to be grasped. I had written a screenplay called One View Only and sent it off to the Worldfest Houston Screenplay Competition. Weeks passed and one day I got an excited call from my wife. In the mail was a notification that I had won third prize for the script.

In her Italian-heritage excited volume, she yelled to me that I had won. I can still hear the excitement in her voice. She knew how much it meant to me and my excitement becamed her's as well. At that moment I felt she finally understood, on some level, or could at least appreciate the passions that had been in me since childhood.

That moment was a far greater and longer lasting reward than any screenplay contest could ever offer.

God's Secrets

Sometimes I wonder if God has secrets...

God knows everything, but doesn't let us know everything. Is it because we can't handle the knowledge, can't comprehend it? Or is it because we are not responbile enough to manage the information correctly. And I'm not talking big picture creation of the universe types of secrets. I'm talking about secrets He has about my life. Things he knows about me or my journey that he hasn't told me about. Knoweldge about my relationships, goals, failings and strengths.

Or is our journey about uncovering that knowlege? Discovering those secrets?

Hmmm... I wonder.

Fortune Cookie

Had Chinese again for lunch. Today's fortune:

Age can never hope to win while your heart is young.

Yeah, talk to my joints fighing arthritis or my muscles, which refuse to stay young. Age is winning... slowly, constantly, painfully, but definitely winning. :)

Hanging With The Heavenly

In response to my Life With Crohns posts, my sister Mary asked me to relay a story about my visit with the Trinity...

So, here goes...

It was about 22 years ago... I was in high school and I was heavily involved with our church youth group. For me, it was during my teen years in which my faith was most pure... child-like almost. I had matured enough to understand the depth of my faith, yet I was untested by the realities of life that impede my ability to believe in it whole-heartedly.

Now, I come from a family of huggers… we greet each other with a hug, we say good-bye with a hug… we’re just touchy-feely in that way. And the one thing I wanted to do more than anything as a teen was to give Jesus a big bear hug. I wanted that so badly, to express my affection for Him the way I expressed it to my family… I wanted to hug Him and thank Him for all he has done, for all that he means to me and my family.

At one of the masses, a visiting priest came and spoke of different methods of prayer. One of the ways he mentioned was to imagine you're in an elevator, traveling down to your soul. And, when you arrived, the doors would open and you would meet and talk with Jesus in a setting that made you most comfortable.

So, one night I decided to give this prayer method a try. I lay in bed one night and concentrated… hard. I was focused and determined and full of hope and excitement that it would work. So, I walk into the elevator and the doors closed behind me. I could feel the elevator shudder slightly as it started traveling down toward my soul.

As I approached my destination, light started to sparkle in the crack at the bottom of the door. It continued to sparkle and become brighter until it seemed as if the light was literally dancing at my feet. I could then feel the elevator begin to slow and I was suddenly filled with a growing sense of love… encompassing love… it’s hard to describe the exact feeling. It was as if I was wrapped in a warm blanket of security and love. I knew the doors were about to open.

And they did…

As the doors opened, bright light poured into the elevator. It was so bright it should have been painful, but it wasn’t. Once my eyes were acclimated, I stepped out of the elevator and found myself standing on a beautiful beach. In the distance I could hear the waves gently crashing against the sand and the breeze blew through my hair. It felt like paradise.

And standing in front of me, His dark brown hair blowing in the same breeze, a broad, welcoming smile on His bearded face, stood Jesus. The sense of love pouring out of Him to me was so strong, so constant, so comforting… again, it’s hard to effectively describe. It encompassed every cell of my body, surrounding me, cushioning me, filling me until I couldn't take any more… truly amazing.

What surprised me at first was His appearance. It was as if he had stepped right out of biblical times. He wore a burlap-type material, brown and dusty, with short-sleeves. The cloak traveled down to just above His knees and, around His waist, a rope was tied as a belt, keeping His garment in tact.

His face was slightly dirtied, as were His sandal covered feet. I don’t remember seeing His pieced hands or feet specifically, but I don’t remember not seeing them either. To be honest, it was hard to take my eyes off of His face… His loving eyes.

I immediately ran over to Jesus and hugged Him as hard as I could. It was the best feeling I had ever felt. When I hugged Him I was again surprised as His garment didn’t feel rough at all, but like silk… like huggin light, if that were possible.

I hugged Jesus so hard and thanked Him for everything that entered my mind. He was so instrumental in my every aspect of my life, he was my identity, so my list of thanks was quite long… family, friends, places, things, events, feelings, dreams, goals, and so on and so on. The entire time, he just smiled back at me, His eyes beaming with compassion and joy.

After I finally let Him go, we walked down the beach, talking. I was so excited and perhaps the most amazing thing was that he was just as excited to see me! As I rambled on about every thought that occurred to me, His eyes continued staring, flowing love and understanding into my soul. His face warmed me with a single smile that shined with affection.

I, too, found myself smiling constantly. I had never been so happy.

After our journey down the beach I was surprised for the third time upon seeing that God and the Holy Spirit were waiting. I know this is going to sound like a stupid statement, but God is pretty hard to describe. He face was older, yet full of the same love. He had glowing white hair and a beard that extended out into pure light. He was light with a face. It was the brightest light you could imagine, yet not painful to look at. Pure, white light. Yet, somehow, I was able to reach out and hug this Creator of all, feeling that same sensation of hugging silk. I thanked Him for everything that was racing through my mind. He was so full of love and so happy to see me… it was such a joy.

And then I turned to the Holy Spirit… in a day full of surprises, His appearance was the most unexpected. The images of God and Jesus I saw I could understand were somehow affected by pictures I had seen before, artistic depictions of God and Christ. But the Holy Spirit I saw was unique to me.

The Holy Spirit wore a similar style robe as Jesus, but it was made of bright, pure white silk-like material. The sleeves were very short and the material extended down to about half-thigh. He was very young and muscular… healthy. And, perhaps the most striking images were His clean-shaven face and His short cropped, dark hair. Somehow it made me wonder if His appearance matched His duties… God had always been, Jesus came and resurrected, and the Holy Spirit was active now, in our everyday lives, running from soul to soul, the most active part of the Trinity. So, it made sense to me that he was full of youthful exuberance.

Of course, what did I do? I hugged Him and thanked Him incessantly. What else? Again, it was like hugging light. I thanked Him profusely for everything I could think of.

And then I talked to all of them… specifically of what I can’t recall, really, but I can tell you it was great. I can’t emphasize enough the overwhelming sensation of love that filled my soul during this time. It was everywhere at once. In me, around me, everywhere.

And then, I suddenly realized that I had to leave. No one said that I had to go, I just knew inside. My time in paradise had expired for the moment and I had to go back home.

It was so disappointing, but I didn’t argue. I wouldn’t have won the argument anyway. :)

So, Jesus led me back to the elevator and I hugged Him one last time, again thanking Him… especially for the experience I was just granted. He smiled brightly as the elevator doors closed and, as the dancing lights slowly dissipated at my feet, the feeling of encompassing love slowly left me.

The elevator darkened and my eyes eventually opened, revealing to me that I was once again in my bed, staring up at the ceiling, a broad smile still filling my face and tears of joy streaming from my eyes.

It was truly a miracle to me.

Some may call it a dream. Others may call it an illusion. But I know it was neither. It was an experience, a journey, a gift given to me by God to stand in His presence, talking to His three persons… Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

It was an event that has never left me. And I can’t wait to return to that beach, for eternity, in the presence of the Trinity.

Monday Morning QB - 11/7

The Bucs continue their slide, dropping their third game in four to the much better Carolina Panthers. The Bucs dropped out of first place with the 34-14 loss behind the Panthers and the Atlanta Falcons. It is probably the last time they will see first place this season.

The winning formula for the Bucs is simple. Third down conversion and turnovers... control those two things and they win. In order to have a high third down conversion rate you need to have an effective running game. In every loss this season, with either Griese or Simms at QB, we have not been able to run. When we've run, we've won. Without a running game, the third downs are usually for over 5 yards, which makes them tough to consistently get.

And turnovers. Cadillac fumbles early, turns into points. Simms interception for a touchdown, turns into points. After Anthony Davis went out with a sprained knee, Todd Steussie came in and, like the last time Steussie covered Simm's backside, he got beat, Simms was sacked and lost the ball. That turned into points.

If we can't win the third down conversion and turnover stats, we'll lose every time. We're not good enough of a team to win any other way.

My prediction: Panthers 23, Bucs 12

Score: Panthers 34, Bucs 14

Offense: C-. Passing game was okay, but no running game again. Gruden's dislike of Mike Alstott because Dungy drafted him is costing the Bucs games. Every time Alstott touches the ball, good things happen. But Gruden is too stuck on his own perception of Alstott to simply look at who can best perform and put him in there.

I know every coach has a system they are trying to employ, but at some point you have to adjust that system to best utilize the players currently on your team. No one on the team gets more yardage after impact than Alstott. Not using him as a halfback with a weak offensive line and a young QB is stubborn, stupid and short sighted.

I'll tell you this, putting Alstott in as halfback can't make the running game any worse. It can only make it better.

Defense: D. Good in spurts, bad in others. When the game counted, no pressure on the QB, no sacks and no turnovers.

Special Teams: C. Uneventful and the Bucs have still not returned a kickoff for a TD... ever.

Coaching: C. The team got out muscled, out hustled and out coached.

Outstanding Players: Galloway. His speed is amazing. Unfortunatley, Simms was rarely afforded enough time in the pocket to let Galloway's speed burn past the Carolina DBs deep.

Things That Drove Me Nuts: The O and D lines getting pushed around all over the place.

Bucs Record: 5-3.

Next Opponent: Simms showed improvement this week, but the running game has to materialize again, or we won't stand a chance against the tough Washington Redskin defense. The blitz from every where and if Simms is going to have to win the game for us, we'll lose. He's not good enough for that yet.

The rest of the season will only get tougher. This young offense has to show just how much they care about winning and turn this thing around. If not, we'll keep bringing our C game while the opponents bring their A game.

Noah's Journey...

Many of you have been praying for my nephew Noah Koehler. He was born with some kidney problems and with weakened lung development. He was not expected to live. The doctors even told the parents to plan for a funeral.

However, after DJ, the father, and his pastor prayed over Noah, he immediately began to improve. Hundreds, if not thousands, of you have been praying for Noah since his birth and continue to do so to this day.

I just wanted to give everyone an update. Our miracle baby is doing very well. We all had dinner last night and he has grown quite a bit (see below).



He still has some kidney issues that will need to be surgically repaired, but they want to wait until he nears at least a year old. So, next Spring, they will schedule that surgery. Depending on the success of that surgery, others may be in the offering... its hard to tell at this point.

In any event, the parents and the entire family are very grateful for your prayers. I can tell you from first hand experience that they have worked in saving this boy's life. Please continue to pray for him so that his upcoming obstacles may be overcome with great success.

Thank you again.

Happy Birthday Paul

Today is my brother Paul's birthday.

Happy birthday Paul. He has always been the most supportive of my creative endeavors... the only one to "get it." He's my sounding board for ideas and he's donated time and money to both JUSTICE, THE BOX and THE BUSINESS TRIP.

Have a great day, Paul. Thanks for being there for me all these years.