A Great Many Thanks

For the past twenty years I've always fancied myself a writer before most any other creative endeavor.

Just over five years ago I realized that my commitment to writing had waned and my output had slowed to a trickle... I was losing my edge. So, I decided to open up my creative faucet by starting this blog with a promise to write an entry everyday for a year. And I did.

And that's how this all started... as a way to get my artistic booty into gear.

Now, five years later, it's coming to an end. So many things have changed over that time.

My marriage moved from 12.5 to 17.5 years. I could not be more happy with my relationship with my wife. We are truly blessed.

My children moved from childhood into young adulthood. My daughter was 11 when we started and my son eight. They have grown into such fine, young, driven, faithful people. I am amazed by them, inspired by them and can't believe I have the honor of being their father.

My understanding of my Catholic faith has grown exponentially over the past five years. What was a small spark has grown to consume me more and more, enough that I put my faith and my passions together into one vocational endeavor called Sonlight Pictures.

Within the past five years I lost my father. His passing, though sad, was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life and which I chronicled on this website. I will never fear death again.

Over the past five years I shot a couple of award-winning projects. The micro-budget digital feature The Box, the first Sonlight Pictures project Club God and the web series Nikki & Babs (formerly Purgatory, USA).

I've watched my beautiful wife become involved with our Lifteen Mass band called Messenger. Her visible display of faith during Mass has inspired many... I know, I've heard it over and over again. They've released a CD and now I get to hear her sing whenever I want.

I've been blessed with good health and consistent employment during this last half-decade. Two things of which I NEVER take for granted.

I've coached my son's baseball teams saw a group of young, talented boys turn into young, talented men. I've seen my gifted son be a better person than a baseball player. He is known by coaches, players and umpires alike for both his competitiveness and his compassion on and off the field.

I've helped my daughter with her acting homework and saw her touch the lives of her friends by her faith and her example. I've grown to love many of her friends as if they were my own children and am awed at their passion for Jesus Christ.

I have been very, very blessed.

On this, the last entry of this five year blog experiment, I'd like to say a few thanks. Granted, over the 1800 or so days of its existence we've had many of visitors. However, there have been a few very consistent followers of this humble acre in cyberspace and I'd like to thank them for their kindness and support.

My Mother - My mom has been the most consistent visitor of this site and, by far, the greatest contributor to our comments section. So, thank you, Ma, for your wonderful love and support these past five years. Her weekly Carolina Chronicles that she sends out via email for the past decade has inspired us all.

Paul - having moved away from the family to Texas and taking our mother's lead, took the Bauer family's first foray into the blogosphere with his now defunct blog called the Houston Chronicles. He's also been a great supporter and consistent visitor to the site and a selfless enabler of my creative endeavors.

KT and Rett - Both my niece Katie and my sister Loretta are about tied with their visits to the website and their comments. They always filled their input with humor and heart-felt support.

Steve, Chuckles, Laura and the rest - For the other family members who made this place a part of their lives, I want to thank you as well! Your witty, wise and timely comments comforted me when I feared this blog was merely an unintentionally selfish exercise by which I would only hear my own voice.

THANK YOU... ALL OF YOU!

Over the past five years, I've shared an awful lot about myself here. Funny stuff, family challenges, growing pains and faith struggles. I've tried to be honest and humorous and I even attempted being insightful at times. Don't know how successful I've been, but I will say that it has been a pleasure to be part of your lives these past five years.

I hope the grace of the Almighty will inspire you, guide you and protect you, not only in 2010 or the next five years, but for the rest of your days.

God bless you all!

PUSA - Quick Take 3: Idol Dreams

Here's the last of the Quick Takes for PUSA...

PUSA - Quick Take 1: Reunion

For people who haven't seen the series, we've created some Quick Takes so they can understand the humor, style and production value.

The first one is called Reunion.

New PUSA Trailer

I've posted this on Facebook, the Sonlight Pictures website and on the SLP blog... but not here. So, here it is :)



We'll be posting more marketing and behind-the-scenes vids soon.

Astronomical Budget

I heard today that there are 400 billion stars in the Milky Way.

Our national budget is over $3.5 trillion.

If you took a star for every dollar the U.S. Budget Galaxy would be almost four times as large as the Milky Way.

That's not soothing.

America the Lost

There was a time in our country, about two generations ago, where there was a universal understanding that it was our responsibility to sacrifice, if necessary, so that the next generation would have a better life than our own.

For years I've been bemoaning on this blog about the increasing lack of understanding for the need of sacrifice. We've lost that. We've moved from "short term pain for long term gain" to a sense of entitlement.

We have lost our soul as a country. We have lost our identity.

Once, we were the hardest workers. The smartest minds. The land of great and real opportunity. The place where we were promised life, liberty and the PURSUIT of happiness.

We have now turned into the land of outsources workers, imported minds and a land of growing and expected entitlement. We have twisted the pursuit of happiness into a guaranteed, albeit lower, quality of life.

Worst of all, we, for the first time, have turned into a country where we are willing to sacrifice the quality of the future generations for the comforts of our own.

Case and point, the ominous "stimulus package."

First, you could easily argue that it's 1% stimulus and 99% other government spending, but be that as it may, the reality is this. To spend $900 billion, we have to do two things... we need to print more money and we need people to loan us the money.

Problem 1: The primary countries providing our loans are China and Russia.

Read that again. China and Russia.

China, the communist country which has mandated a family has one child and has one of the worst human rights records in the world. Russia, which is quickly returning to its Stalinist past with fewer freedoms and growing governmental control over their people. They are not democracies. They do not share our values. For the past century they have been our enemies.

Now, however, thanks to our own selfishness, these two countries, figuratively and literally, OWN US!

Problem 2: In these rough economic times, if China and Russia stop buying our money, then we'll have to borrow against ourselves. Which will raise inflation and/or interest rates. Which means, in very quick order a $900 billion debt turns into a $2 trillion debt.

We are basically taking out a massive national loan with a variable interest rate. That's the SAME approach that got us in the economic mess IN THE FIRST PLACE!

Sadly, these two problems are not the biggest issue at hand. No, the worst of it is this... we have become so selfish, so adverse to sacrifice, that we are willing to borrow our children, grand children and great-grand children's future. We are willing take out of their mouths, their wallets, and their quality of life to prop up our own padded lifestyle.

America the Great is quickly turning into America the Lost.

What will America look like when Russia and China demand we pay them back? What influence will that afford them in our policies, in our trade agreements, in our ability to defend ourselves?

What will America look like when our government is unable to provide quality anything to our great grandchildren because they're still paying down the debt we gave them so we could keep our two cars, our large homes, our 400 channels of cable, our broadband internet, our meals out, etc.?

Fortunately, I will not be around to see it.

When America falls or is morphed into something unrecognizable, it will not be by some great military attack. Instead, like the Grand Canyon, it will be because of the slow and steady erosion of morals and principles to the bedrock of this nation.

America will die from within because our generation, soon to be known as the Selfish Generation, was the first to think of themselves before their children.

An Inconvenient Debt

This is a little disturbing.

SISS Vol 3 Available

For those collectors of all books rare, pick up your limited copy of Surviving in Safety Harbor, Volume 3 which covers from June to December of 2006.

Mom, I'll have your copy when you return on Monday.

A Visit with an Angel

One of the things I loved most about acting was the feeling that I was tangibly using my faith to touch people. Before every performance I would pray that my work would somehow enlighten the Holy Spirit in each audience member and, through that light, they would see the path they need to take to spend eternity in God's presence.

That was my standard, heartfelt prayer before every performance.

When I moved from on stage to behind the camera in television, I felt a sense of loss from not saying that prayer, of slowly losing the ability to put God in my work. However, the creative aspects of the industry kept me distracted.

Only after I left television and was stuck doing monotonous office work in the "real" world did the loss of converting my faith into daily action become substantial... almost painful. I missed living that daily prayer through my performances.

I felt lost.

I was struggling on how to take managing second level technical support on the phone and converting that into something as real as my acting performances.

This loss made me question how the Lord could take me from the passion of acting... a passion that he had instilled in my very bones... and place me into a mind-numbing office job?

How can helping people connect to the internet equate to the satisfaction that comes from giving an audience your best performance? How can assisting the same people who consistently mess up their internet connection compete with the energy you get from an audience during a performance?

But, most importantly, how can helping people troubleshoot their computers be an expression of faith? The arts, by their very nature, are intended to touch people, reach them in areas of their hearts and psyche that they rarely explore. How can punching a time clock even come close to that?

This loss, this realization was quite depressing.

At the time I was working the second shift (4 p.m. - 1 a.m.). The team covering second shift was small and scattered through the large and mostly empty building. The phone calls were intermittent and I had a lot of time to think... to wonder and to bemoan my current existence.

My indulgence in self pity was distracted every night by one of the two janitors that would come by and empty the garbage. I always made a point to say "hi" and to thank them for doing their job. Their work, I figured, was just as valuable as mine in the grand scheme of things... more so, actually.

One night the struggle of not knowing how to convert my faith into a tangible display through my work was weighing heavily upon me.

I felt rudderless, adrift.

I felt like I was being punished or, worse, spiritually forgotten.

Suddenly, my trance was broken by the enthusiastic humming of a janitor as he approached my cube. I had never seen this janitor before. He was a small, thick black man, constantly bent over as if suffering from back problems. He had what appeared to be a worn appearance that comes from a long life of manual labor. He had wide spaces in his uneven teeth, but they did not impede his infectious smile. He had a simple inner joy, vibrant almost, that seemed to radiate from him as he hummed and bobbed his head to his own internal rhythm while moving from one cube to the next. As he approached my cube I held out my garbage can, as I always did, and handed it to him.

I offered a sincere "thank you."

He stopped his humming, looked up to me with his joy filled eyes and said "I'm just praising the Lord with my work!" He smiled, handed me the garbage can and continued down the aisle.

The answer seemed odd at the time, but stuck with me all night. A call came in and, while on the phone, his humming faded. When I was done with the call I looked around, but he was gone. The next day I was looked for him again, but he didn't show. When one of the regular janitors made the rounds I asked if the humming janitor was working that night.

They didn't know who I was talking about.

As a matter of fact, no one knew who I was talking about. No one else remembered seeing him.

On the drive home that following night I realized that, if a simple janitor can find joy in the Lord by emptying garbage, then I too can use my job, any job, as an expression of my faith.

It was a lesson that has remained with me ever since.

It wasn't until a few years later, upon recalling this event to someone at church, that it occurred to me that my humming visitor that night was probably an angel brought to me to help me through a difficult spiritual time.

It was a visit I will never forget.

Post Thanksgiving Blows

I'm a night person. It's the way God made me.

When given more than two days in a row off from work, my body immediately leaps back into my late-night mode. Thanksgiving weekend was no different. I reveled in post-midnight movie watching and pre-brunch sleeping patterns.

I am feeling the pain today, however. This morning I was forced to pry myself out of bed at 5:15 a.m. in order to get my daughter to school on time. Having gone to bed at midnight didn't help. Having acquired my wife's new cold didn't help. Having awakened numerous times during the night didn't help.

How bad is it? I just bought a Mountain Dew. Before 8 a.m.

That's a bad sign. That's always a bad sign.

What I Am Thankful For...

Things will get busy over the next few days, so I thought I'd take a moment now to offer up what I am thankful for this year.

I am thankful for...

• My faith - It has grown and evolved to depths I never knew could exist within me. I still have such a long way to go, but the journey has been wonderful.
• The Sacraments - The more I understand my faith the more I appreciate the divine made available to us via the Sacraments. They are God's never-ending gifts that inspire us to greater lives.
• My family - My wife and children are the center of my earthly universe and they, along with my extended family, show me God's love every single day. What a blessing to have so much love from so many people.
• My mother - She is so strong, so independent, so funny and so spiritual. She is an inspiration to me.
• My faith community - We are so blessed at our church to have close friendships with a very large number of faithful, learning, humble Catholics who do their best to understand and live their faith everyday. We are all on our own faith journeys and together, we give each other strength and guidance during trying times.
• My job - I have always worked hard not to take my employment for granted. Every morning I thank God for allowing me to have an income and health insurance. Even when there were times where it was hard or difficult or unfulfilling... it is and always will be a gift and I do my best to treat it as such.
• Making movies - I am so thankful the Lord has allowed me to use the gifts he has given me to praise his name in such little ways like Club God and Purgatory, USA. I feel like I am finally fulfilling my responsibilities as part of the greater Body of Christ.
  
• My home town - I love living in Safety Harbor. It's like a small town in the middle of a big city. The people are nice, everything is in walking distance and the families we've met through Little League are top notch.
• And most of all... God's mercy - I am such a broken man... I am the definition of imperfection in light of God's true perfection. I have so many flaws, so many repeatable moments of weakness and lack of holiness. I don't nor will I ever deserve God's mercy, yet He continues to provide it. This humbles me to no end.

These are some of the things for which I am most thankful.

I hope everyone has a wonderful, safe and blessed Thanksgiving weekend.

Purgatory, USA - Episode 3 Now Online!

The third episode of Purgatory, USA is NOW ONLINE!

Watch it HERE!

And don’t forget to sign-up to be one of our prayer partners as a Sonlight Pictures Angel and get inside info, behind-the-scenes scoop and pre-release viewings of all of our future content.

Watch PUSA Episode 3 RIGHT NOW!

Even though the third episode of Purgatory, USA will not be released until this Sunday (11/16/08), our Sonlight Pictures Angels are watching this episode right now!

So, sign-up to be one of our prayer partners and get inside info, behind-the-scenes scoop and pre-release viewings of all of our future content.

You won't regret it.

Purgatory, USA - Episode 5 Shooting Completed

This past weekend we spent a LOT of hours in a very short period of time to complete the shoot of the fifth episode for Purgatory, USA. This episode deals with the concept of envy as Babs and Nikki try to land the same intern position at a local Christian radio station.

God was good and we were able to complete shooting a little ahead of schedule. Below are some screen shots.

Tiffany as Babs.

Dorothea as Nikki.

Catherine as Ariel.

Tim as the Station Manager.

Therese as the Station Manager's daughter.

Tiffany and Brianna.

They both vie for the same position.

Things don't go as planned.

In the next week or so we'll be posting some special behind-the-scenes footage specifically for our Sonlight Picture Angels, so sign-up today.

Dear Anonymous

I realized something this weekend.

I've been blogging here for over three years now, putting my thoughts down, my feelings and my theories covering subjects from illness to faith to the various stupid things I do.

Recently, when I've stated some thoughts I had about Obama or the election or faith and politics, I've received some very interesting feedback in the comments section... good feedback, thought-provoking feedback, usually in opposition of my stance, but worthy of discussion, none-the-less.

However, almost all of these differing views are inputted by the vague and faceless person called Anonymous. Either the person(s) didn't want to sign up for a blogspot login or didn't want to put their real name at the bottom of the comment or they simply forgot to sign their name... whatever the reason, their viewpoint is "personless." And, in my mind, valueless.

So, from now on I'm going to ignore any comment(s) left by Anonymous based simply on the fact that my ideas have a name and a face and yours do not. As a matter of fact, I'm going to delete all future Anonymous comments left on my blog.

Hey, if you want to disagree with me, awesome! I love a good debate. That's the way my father raised me. But, if you're not willing to attach your real name to your comment, then I can only surmise that you don't really feel that strongly about it and it's not worth reading.

So, Anonymous, where ever you are, feel free to stop by and read all you want. But, if you want to participate, at least have the courage to put your real name to it.

Otherwise, don't let the virtual door hit you on your way back out to the internet.

Purgatory, USA - Episode 2 is Now Online!

The second episode of Purgatory, USA is now online!


Check it out! Let us know what you think.

Purgatory, USA - Opening

Here's a sneak peak of the 30 second opening of Purgatory, USA. Those who signed up as a Sonlight Picture Angel got a sneak peek of this a few weeks ago. Click on the link below...

Click on Pic for Opening

Happy viewing.

Purgatory, USA: 4 + 8 = 12

It appears the Lord wants us to make 12 episodes of Purgatory, USA. We have eight more to go. You can read more over at Sonlight Pictures Blog.

That means I have a lot of writing to do. Time to get started.

Purgatory, USA - Episode 1 Shoot Complete

We spent 12 straight hours Saturday finishing up Episode 1 of Purgatory, USA. It was a long, long day. We got a lot of good work done and the lead actors, DC and Tiffany, did a great job. Really professional attitude and approach.

DC and me on the set in between takes.

Tiffany listening to me right before a take.

DC as Nikki, looking cute.

Sunday we shot for six hours and completed three scenes from Episode 2. We have a lot more to shoot this upcoming weekend.

Here are a few pics and screenshots. You can see more at Sonlight Pictures Blog.

I'm Officially Out of the Wedding Video Biz

Poor Merrill. I shot her wedding video in November and she still doesn't have a copy. I put the footage onto my computer a few months ago, but since then its been collecting digital dust.

With church and kids and little league and Sonlight Pictures, oh, yeah, and work, I have almost no free hours left in my day.

I was always the go-to guy in the family for shooting a wedding video. Hec, even did a few for people at work! And I was happy to do it.

But, the work doesn't end on the wedding day, it begins. There is getting the footage into the computer, editing it all together, making a DVD of the ceremony, mailing the DVD, keeping a backup, etc. etc. Not hard things to do, mind you, just very time consuming.

My goal is to get Merrill and Jeff's wedding video done by July 4th. With work and Gabe beginning All-Stars, that could be problematic. At the very latest, I promise to get them a copy before their first anniversary. Pathetic, yes. Reality? Probably.

Sadly, their's will be my last family wedding video. One of my younger nieces or nephews will have to pick up the mantle and carry on the tradition.

For me, it will be a nice, refreshing change to actually sit with my family during the ceremony and soak in the event, instead of worry about framing and audio and lighting and continuity. I can't wait for the next wedding when I can simply squeeze my wife's left hand as another family member starts their married life together.

Then I can turn and wave to the camera.