Movie Memories... Permanent Games Too

The overall bizarre experience that was the shoot of the ultra-low budget film Permanent Games culminated in yet another awkward moment. After having to endure making out with an actress I had never before met who was newly drug free wasn't the worst of it... having to kiss someone you consider your sister was.

The cast of the film included Jay Millman, his wife Leslie and me as the three leads in a love triangle. I had known Jay and Leslie for years in college and they were two of my best friends. Jay and I worked together off campus during our senior year and Leslie and I acted opposite each other in the University's production of The Tempest. They also acted in my short film called Homesick.

Although Leslie had the beauty of a young Grace Kelly, she was more like a sister to me than anything else. She and Jay had gotten married after college and had then got involved with this Permanent Games project .

So, there's the back story leading up to the point of this memory... the point in the script were Leslie and I were supposed to have a love scene.

Ick.

Leslie and I were not comfortable with the idea to begin with... but we were even more uncomfortable doing something like that on a low budget film with unknown filmmakers. So, we rewrote the scene to be something less tame than what you'd find on TV Land on Nickelodeon.

But, it still involved kissing Leslie.

Most men would love the opportunity to kiss someone as beautiful as Leslie. But, we were friends. Good friends. Buds. And it was icky. It was like kissing your sister or cousin or something. In some parts of the country, that's not such a bad thing, sure, but for Leslie and I it was awkward, to say the least.

The best news is that Permanent Games never got completed or distributed. Jay said he has a VHS copy of one of the edits in a box somewhere, but I haven't seen it. Even though the film has evaporated into the ether of low budget filmdom, the unique, humorous and embarrassing moments of that film have been forever burned into my psyche.

Christmas is for Christians

This whole debate over whether Christmas trees should be called Holiday trees in order not to offend others or be more inclusive to non-Christians simply infuriates me.

Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Christ. Christmas trees came from a European tradition celebrating the birth of Christ. Like it not, those are the facts.

I personally don't want Jews, Muslims or Athiests to participate in Christmas... it's not their holiday. They have their own holidays. Just as I will not ask the Jews to call the menorah a holiday candle stick, don't ask me to call the Christmas tree a holiday tree.

All I hear is that Christians should be more accomodating and be more sympathetic to those offended by the display of Christmas trees.

My answer? Bite me. Christmas is for Christians. End of story.

Santa Claus is for everybody else.

Christians have been bending over and taking it for way too long, because we want to be, well, Christian in our behavior. But that behavior should not enable those who would strip away our values and beliefs from the fiber of this country.

If the majority of this country holds Judeo/Christian values, the laws of this country should reflect that. If the majority of our country holds Judeo/Christian values, our government should be allowed to acknoweldge that. And if the majority of this country holds Judeo/Chrisitian values, then a Christmas tree should be proudly called a Christmas tree.

What people SHOULD be asking is whether changing the name of the Christmas tree would offend Christians, which make up 80% of the United States.

The answer is a very loud YES. The problem is that too few people care to hear or acknoweldge that answer.

We, in a public display of our faith, should keep shouting it until they finally get it.

Constantine (2005)

I watched the film Constantine last night, about a man that survived a suicide attempt and who now exorcises demons in an attempt to earn his way into heaven. I love films like this for one reason, they acknowledge the existence of God, Satan and the battle for souls. The existence of God or Jesus or angels or demons or sin or faith or absolution are not up for discussion… they are accepted as truth in these storylines and the story plays within those boundaries.

The other thing I like about these films is that there are no clear, detailed explanations on this battle for souls. There are hints about how we live our lives and that this battle is waging, but it is open for interpretation.

Constantine, for the most part, did a good job of keeping the theological expectations in place. There was a great amount of stuff added to the story to keep it moving that could be theologically questionable, such as “half-breeds” which are half angel/human or half demon/human that help push people in either the right or wrong direction, but this is the part of the gray area that is not well defined and is open for interpretation or creation.

The images of Hell were pretty amazing and our society could use more exhibition of such images…not in a fire and brimstone “you’re all going to Hell” sermon, but just as a reminder of the consequences of our decisions.

For a film that does not question the existence of God, Heaven, Hell, Satan and Jesus or the damned souls of those who commit suicide does not effectively recognize the infinite mercy of God and the salvation through Jesus and the absolution of sins through the sacrament of reconciliation. It was interesting, as the Catholic characters were very clear on the damnation that occur when someone commits suicide, but not clear on the path to salvation.

So, it was surely flawed, but these stories Christian filmmakers should be telling, with greater images of Heaven, Hell and the battle for our souls.

Predictor Pete - Week Thirteen

The Bucs lost a heartbreaker last week against the tough Chicago Bears. This week they have a chance to redeem themselves as they head out to Baton Rouge to take on the nomadic New Orleans/Baton Rouge/San Antonio Saints.

This is a road divisional game, which is always tough. The Saints have played us very well in the past, so we will need to play our best to pull out a victory. This is the first game of a three game road swing with the Panthers and the Patriots awaiting our arrival. This is the easiest of those games and a game we have to have. The Falcons and Panthers play each other, so if the Bucs can win, they have a chance to be in tie for first place again. A loss could severly hurt their playoff chances.

The Saints are fighting tremendous odds and certainly are in a no-win situation. Unfortunately, the Bucs need to take advantage of that and win this game using a stingy defense and a strong running game. Place kicker Matt Bryant has been held out all week with a hamstring pull and the Bucs may have to rely on the kicker they cut in camp... I hope the game doesn't rely on a field goal this week.

My Heart: Bucs 24-10.
My Mind: Bucs 22-17.
My Colon: Saints 21-20.

My Pick: Bucs 23-19...

The Bucs need this win. The Niners and Jets losses are already haunting them. A Saints loss here could be another.

My Record: 7-4

High Tension (2003)

I watched a very interesting film last night called High Tension. Its a French film, originally titled Haute Tension, about two students, Marie and Alexia, who travel to Alexia's remote country home in order to study for upcoming exams. We experience the movie through the protagonist Marie's eyes, played exceptionally well by French actress Cécile De France. Marie, a city girl, gets her first experience at the remoteness of country life.

That first night, as she rests in the upstairs bedroom of the barn-turned-house in the middle of nowhere, a killer enters the house, kidnaps Alexia and kills her family. We live the experience through Marie as she narrowly avoids the killer and tries to rescue her friend.

The film, though more bloody than my personal tastes, has some exceptional suspenseful moments. However, as the film enters the third act, something very odd happens.

**Spoiler Warning**

It turns out that Marie IS the killer and we've been watching her version of the story unfold through her twisted mind. This plot twist is pretty extraordinary for two reasons... one, it is very unexpected, but, secondly, it means that every suspenseful moment we've lived with where Marie is avoiding the killer is a complete fabrication. They never happened. I've been watching a lie. How can she be the killer and be narrowly avoiding him at the same time? So, I concurrently felt both shocked and disappointed.

The other things this does is completely ruin any chance of rewatching the film. The great thing about Hitchcock's flicks is that you can watch them over and over again because the experience of the suspense never loses it's edge. Hitchcock creates suspense by letting the audience know more than the main character and with repeated viewings, nothing is lost.

However the writers and director of High Tension destroyed the reviewing experience because now we know that every suspenseful moment in the film does not truly happen. So, why watch it?

Dressed to Kill, by Brian DePalma, could have had this issue, however the protagonist and the antagonist are not the same person. So, his suspense holds up. In High Tension, I may rewatch the film to study the way they crafted their suspense scenes, but I will never again actually be in suspense when watching it.

A very odd choice by the writers and director. It made for a great surprise, but made the majority of the film a lie.

Movie Memories... Permanent Games

Its 1989 and I'm on the set of a very low budget film being shot in Miami. Very low budget. Did I mention they had no money?

My college buddy Jay and his lovely wife, Leslie, were in the film and let me know they were looking for another actor. At this point in my acting career I was just looking for any screen credit I could find. After all, who in NY or LA is going to know how big or small a film called Permanent Games is going to be?

One day I arrive on location to meet a woman with which I'm supposed to make out. Yes, that's right. At one point, I'm supposed to make out with a woman in an outdoor shower. I don't remember what this had to do with the plot, but a lot of this film has drifted from my memory.

So, anyway, I get dressed in my bathing suit, she in her's and, in an attempt to find some sort of normality in this otherwise extremely awkward moment, we decide to ask each other's names and engage in small talk before hopping into this cold-water-only outdoor shower and begin... well... making out.

And just as the camera is about to start rolling, she ends our small talk by excitedly telling me that she had been drug free for two weeks now!

Action!

It was the most unsexual experience of my entire life. I spent the scene trying to figure out just how long it takes drugs to leave someone's system. And what kind of drugs were they? And why did she have to tell me that? I mean, I've known her for all of thirty seconds.

Let's see... when I thought of being an actor, did I EVER imagine this moment would occur? Hmmm... nope.

Show business is weird.

Fortune Cookie

I had Chinese for lunch today. The fortune in the cookie states:

"A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he gives up."

As the saying goes, the key to success is getting up one more time than you fall down.

Movie Memories... Ready, Willing & Able Too

I had set some pretty specific goals in my life. One of which was to see my name on a movie screen in a real theater on a real movie.

Well, its 2000 and I'm sitting in an AMC Theater in Ft. Lauderdale at the Ft. Lauderdale International Film Festival. With me are my parents, my wife and some of my brothers and sisters. The lights dim and the 35mm independent film Ready, Willing & Able begins.

A few credits into the film we see:

Written by
Pete Bauer and
Jenni Gold

A sense of satisfaction shivers through my body and a well of emotions accumulate in my eyes. My wife squeezes my hand and smiles.

I can check off another goal on my list.

My Semi-Surprising Birthday Party

When one's 40th birthday party approaches, you tend to look out for the telltale hints that something surprising has been scheduled. Over the past few weeks I had noticed a certain secrecy in the house and it did not take long before the secrets started to reveal themselves.

First, my son, bless his heart, was so excited about my surprise party on my birthday that he would often start talking about it and I would have to ask him to stop. At one point, I actually sent him to another room so he wouldn't over-speak.

The best of the reveals was from my dear old Dad. My parents, down from North Carolina, called me to wish me happy birthday. My Dad said...

"So are you excited about everyone coming over tonight... oh, your mother just hit me like I wasn't supposed to say that."

Hilarious.

Secret #1, revealed.

At that point, my intuition was fully realized and I asked my wife what I could do to assist. She said she still had some surprises in store for me. About an hour later my wife is in the shower and the phone rings. Its a florist...

"Mr. Bauer, we have a delivery for you for your birthday and we seem to have the wrong address."

I give them the correct address and tell my wife, who had now finished her shower, that she REALLY needs to answer the phone from now on.

Secret #2, revealed. My wife said there were still more surprises.

Later on, after the flowers had arrived and still hours before the party, I walk into the bedroom and my wife is putting the finishing touches on a beautiful collage of my life.

Secret #3, revealed. I suggest using the door lock next time.

Later, I was outside throwing the football with my son and my daughter comes out, holding the phone against her chest, asking...

"Dad, Uncle Charles wants to know if they still need to come over early to surprise you."

The question itself really holds the answer, doesn't it? But, just in case, I said "No, darling."

The surprise actually came to my guests, as I greeted them at the door, telling them not to tell me about the party because it would ruin my surprise. Later, when everyone had arrived, I asked if I should leave and re-enter the house, to make it official. They said to just shut up and open my presents.

My wife did hold one final surprise for me. My sister Mary had come all the way down from Georgia to come to the party and spend the night. It was so great. Mary is one of my older sisters and has six kids, almost all of which are now grown and living their own life. So, it has been rare for us so far to find time to just sit and talk. We spent that evening catching up on life, find out about each other, great stuff like that. It was awesome.

The next day we watched the Bucs/Bears game. She, liking Atlanta, wanted the Bears to win, but was very good about not rubbing the Bucs loss in our faces. I took her to the airport Sunday evening and she made it home okay.

Overall, the four day holiday weekend was great. I got to see my brother Steve and family from Atlanta and my brother Paul and family from Houston. Everyone else in my family made it to my birthday party and I also got to spend time with my closest friends.

Though the party did not go off without a hitch, it was still a very touching and memorable 40th birthday party.

Monday Morning QB - 11/28

Bucs miss a field goal wide right to tie the game and end up losing a close, important home game to the Bears 13-10. That Bears defense was extremely tough... good pass rush, great tacklers. Most importantly, they capitalized on turnovers and the Bucs did not. However, the Bucs should never lose a home game, in my opinion. That should always be the goal. But, this is their second loss at home and now head on the road for three straight games against the Saint, Panthers and Patriots. The Bucs need at least three wins out of the last five in order to have a chance to make the playoffs. If they don't, they'll look back to the Niners, Jets and possibly this Bears games as the reasons they may be watching the playoffs from home.

My prediction: Well, due to the holidays, I didn't actually post my prediction, but I verbally conferred with my brother Steve and came up with Bucs 21, Bears 10

Score: Bears 13, Bucs 10

Offense: C+. The offense was finding a way against the Bears tough defense in the last quarter. If the game would have gone to OT, I think the Bucs would have won.

Defense: B+. The Bears aren't a great offense, but the Bucs D did their job.

Special Teams: D. Punting was below average and Bryant missed the game tying 29 yard field goal.

Coaching: B. Defense handled a weak offense. The Offense managed against a stingy defense.

Outstanding Players: Galloway, Rice and Williams

Things That Drove Me Nuts: Two words... wide right.

Bucs Record: 7-4.

Next Opponent: The Bucs go on the road to Baton Rouge to play the Saints. This is a critical road divisional game and kicks off a three game road swing. The Saints have always played us well, so the Bucs will need to play their best on the road to get a much needed victory.

Movie Memories... Ready, Willing & Able

It's 1997. My wife and I park at the Disney/MGM Studios in Orlando and make our way to one of the street locations in the theme park. We approach our good friends, Jenni Gold and Jeff Maynard who are directing and producing, respectively, the feature independent film called Ready, Willing & Able, penned by yours truly.

It was a pretty cool experience. I had lived in Orlando previously and had visited the park a few times, always thinking how neat it would be to close down one of the streets and shoot something. Now, years later, I was standing on the same street, blocked off from the crowds, watching actors peform words which I had written months earlier.

It was surreal.