© 2007 Pete Bauer
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INT. OFFICE - DAY
THOMAS and ALISON, both young office workers,
sit in their cubes working quietly.
After a moment, Alison pulls at her collar.
ALISON
Is it hot in here?
THOMAS
I didn't notice.
ALISON
You don't feel that? It's
stifling!
THOMAS
No... oh, the air conditioner just
went off.
ALISON
I'm burning up! This is a
catastrophe.
THOMAS
The air will come back on. It's
cyclical. It gets a little cooler
then it gets a little warmer...
it's been happening since we've
been in this building.
ALISON
(accusingly)
What did you do!
THOMAS
What?
ALISON
What did you do to cause this?
THOMAS
Ah... nothing?
ALISON
That's so like you, to act like you
don't have any effect on the rest
of us.
THOMAS
I didn't say that. The air went
off. That's all. It will come
back on.
ALISON
How do you know that!?! You don't
know that! How could you possibly
know that!
THOMAS
Well, I've worked here longer than
you have and-
ALISON
I'm not asking for your opinion,
facts or conjectures. This
discussion is closed!
THOMAS
It is?
ALISON
Yes!
THOMAS
How can you say that when you don't
have all of the information?
ALISON
Like what?
THOMAS
Well, there's a lot of people in
this building. And plants and even
some fish, I think. Plus, the air
conditioner is a very complex
instrument. There are a lot of
variables in play. Just because
it's one degree hotter in here
doesn't mean it's not normal.
ALISON
Then you agree, it is hotter in
here! We're all doomed! We have
to mobilize. Get people to change
what they do to reduce the
temperature!
THOMAS
(keeps working)
We're not really doing much of
anything, comparatively speaking.
ALISON
Stop your typing!
THOMAS
What?
ALISON
Stop your typing!!!!
THOMAS
I can't. If I stop typing then my
project will fail.
ALISON
Then slow it down.
THOMAS
You want me to be less efficient?
ALISON
For the sake of mankind!
THOMAS
Look, last week there was a temp in
here that said we were all going to
die due to cubical cooling. Some
other guy complained that his cube
wasn't big enough and we were over
crowded. Now you're telling me the
office is going to self-destruct
because the air conditioner went
off?
ALISON
What's your point?
THOMAS
Well, I've worked here the entire
time and nothing's happened.
ALISON
That's because you weren't paying
attention.
THOMAS
Do you really think that the speed
of my typing is the critical
component as to why the temperature
rose by one degree?
ALISON
Absolutely! Everyone knows this.
She pulls a JANITOR into the cube.
ALISON (CONT'D)
(referring to Janitor)
The smartest people in this
building agree with me.
She shoves the Janitor out.
ALISON (CONT'D)
(to Thomas)
You're so callous. So uncaring.
How could you just sit there and do
your job and ignore the impending
catastrophe?
THOMAS
(stops, turns to her)
Prove to me the air conditioner
won't come back on and I'll believe
you.
Alison sits there stumped. Thomas returns to
typing. Alison looks to her cup of ice water.
ALISON
(points to cup)
The ice in my cup is melting!
THOMAS
So?
ALISON
(frantic)
It's going to overflow and spill
onto my desk! My work area will be
reduced by fifty percent! My
efficiency in the office will be
reduced, I'll lose my job, I won't
be able to buy food and I'LL DIE!
(flailing)
WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!
She collapses onto the floor. Thomas' fingers
continue to POUND the keyboard.
Alison peeks one eye open and looks up to the
ceiling.
ALISON
Do you see that? The ceiling is
falling!
Thomas looks up to the ceiling air vent.
THOMAS
It's the air. It turned back on.
Posts
2 comments:
Make fun all you want but global warming is a real concern.
Obviously, I have my doubts. I believe we have an impact on the environment. I think it's arrogant to assume we have the largest impact when we don't even know all of the animal and plant life on the planet and its impact on the ecosystem.
Besides, when a "movement" closes the door on scientific discussion from opposing viewpoints, there's something far more of a concern going on then my carbon footprint. In the 70s we were all going to die from global cooling. Then acid rain. Then over population. Now global warming.
Read The Boy Who Cried Wolf and you know where I'm coming from.
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