The Funeral

Celebrating one's life is much more important than mourning one's death.

In celebrating my father's life, his success in family and in faith was immensely evident at the Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic Church in Hayesville, NC. The small church was packed with family and fellow parishioners.

We were blessed to have every single child, all but two grandchildren, and all but a few great grand children in attendance. My father's two remaining siblings, his brothers with their wives, also made the trek to the funeral. My father's example, my father's faith, my father's humor was interspersed among the people present to honor him and say a goodbye to the shell we call his body laying at the front of the church.

The night before we celebrated my father's life through stories and memories. My sister's house was overflowing with family, all packed into a few rooms as we shared our numerous and very funny memories of Dad. From dismissing school early far before the end of the school day when he was a cheerleader in high school, to his navy days and numerous, funny nicknames, to his parenting skills that included hitting golf balls at his children. Each story ended with an abrupt and appreciated burst of laughter.

Standing next to my Father.

At the funeral, I stood by my mother next to the opened casket as each family member passed by to say their final goodbye to my father. I was touched to be able to stand in a place of such honor. Tears and hugs were in plentiful supply.

The funeral Mass was wonderful. Almost each of my father's children participated in the Mass via readings, song or prayer of the faithful or other aspects of the Mass. One of my brother's gave a wonderful eulogy and, afterwards white doves were released along with another prayer.

The family-only gathering.

Afterwards the local church offered a lot of food and companionship during this trying time. Later in the evening we had a family-only dinner gathering where we showed a DVD I had created in memory of my father. Not a dry eye in the house. We followed up the DVD with a funny Grampa Trivia Contest. I emceed the contest between the grandchildren boys and grandchildren girls. (BTW - the girls won).

We wrapped up the evening enjoying my father's favorite food... ice cream.

The day after the funeral everyone gathered in a large room in the back of a local Shoney's to enjoy a final meal together before everyone headed back to their homes. In what could only be called a divine serendipity, the female waitress serving us that day? Her name was Charlie, of course.

This entire experience was such a blessing. Wrapped in my father's death and funeral was Christmas, over an inch of snow, New Year's Eve and the local Possum Drop, a visit to a local winery and hours and hours of quality time between our large and growing family.

Above all else, this experience has taught me to embrace, not avoid, the process of death. We are all going to die. Going through this with my parents has shown me the simplicity and the beauty of our last moments on this planet. It has shown me just how hollow our body is without our soul. And it showed me that how we treat each other is far more important than any other achievement we can satisfy on this planet.

It was a life altering, life invigorating experience. Time with my mother. Time with my father. Time with my family. Time with my savior. I've embraced the greatest gift God offers us... time.

Don't waste it.