Okay, I'm going to sound really old fashioned here...
My daughter brought home her high school yearbook and there was a multi-page section in the middle of the book highlighting teen moms with their babies.
When the hell did that become acceptable? When did irresponsible sex out of wedlock by teens resulting in pregnancy end up being something to highlight? Is there nothing worth shaming in our society anymore?
And that brings me to another question... how does a society support a person without supporting their decisions?
The Lord knows my life is littered with the remnants of bad decisions, so I do not speak from any higher moral ground here. Trust me!
Single motherhood, for example, is a tough thing. Thank the Lord the woman chooses to have her baby instead of having an abortion. Seriously, praise God for that!
But, how do you support the woman who is a single mother without condoning societal single motherhood?
Look, I know a lot of single mothers who will overcome their challenges and raise wonderful children. And a lot of them are dealing with the father of their child who is, at best, only a detriment to that child.
But, from a big picture societal standpoint, single parenthood is not something that is statistically healthy.
Studies have shown that children learn how to live in a family by the example of the mother and how to integrate into society through the example of the father. This explains why further studies have shown that 75% of men in prison today were raised without their fathers. It also explains why children who's fathers do not go to church are substantially less likely to go to church as adults.
God designed the family unit to include man and woman, mother and father.
I'm not judging single mothers. Or single parents.
Really.
After all, being a co-parent is hard enough. Being a single one takes super-human strength.
However, I think we could all agree that raising a child without a father is a certainly not preferable. From a societal standpoint, it is very likely damaging.
But, not supporting those in need, especially single mothers, is also blatantly un-Christian.
I don't have any answers... I guess we should hold ourselves up to a higher level of societal responsibility than we do now, but it never seems to turn out that way any more.
So, I'm stuck back at my original question... How does a society help people dealing with the consequences of bad choices without, by doing so, condone those bad choices?
And this problem is not tied to single motherhood alone. That's just the example I'm using now. It applies to any social ill to which the government assists and thereby enables people to continue to make the same bad choices.
Where does compassion cross over to condoning?
From a faith perspective, we believe that God will support us through our bad decisions in the hopes that we will follow his lead to a higher calling, a more holy life. And we also believe that we will be rightly judged for all of our decisions, the good, bad and ugly.
We don't seem to do that in America anymore. We support and then we condone and then we accept and then we expect... and we go un-judged and are not called to a higher standard... instead we lower the bar one bad decision at a time until our society believes everything is acceptable and nothing is worthy of judgment or scrutiny.
It makes me wonder... when I crack open my grandchild's first high school yearbook, what on Earth will I find highlighted there?
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7 comments:
You don't even want to know
DC is in High School, when did this happen? I was just holding her as an infant:)
Ok, that is a very strange thing to see in a yearbook--I wonder if other schools have done the same?
Hmm, you raised lots of good questions. But the pics of teen moms with their babies is a little weird.
Nah, old fashioned is still enjoying 70's and 80's music. Old fashioned is carrying your wife across the threshold on your wedding day.
Being concerned that teenage mothers are glorified in a high school year book is just your sense of right and wrong kicking in.
BB
Did they show who the father(s) was(were)?
No. Only mothers and children.
I agree it is quite the statement to provide a multi-page highlight on that topic in a high school yearbook. It seems pretty inappropriate in many ways and can only open Pandora's box for a multi-page highlight for many other questionable subjects.
I don't know, Uncle Pete, but I can bet that you are not the only parent with these thoughts and the school administration may find themselves haunted with this issue.
The struggle between compassion vs. condoning is a tough one. Many people find it hard to resolve in their own personal relationships with family and friends let alone on a macro level. It's like when the city of Seattle used to give away free clean needles. That way, if you wanted to use intravenous drugs, at least you would not be spreading disease. But how many more people abused because the equipment was provided? Craziness.
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