If Drug Ed Were Taught Like Sex Ed Skit

Continuing what I have called The Theater of the Obvious, yesterday at lunch I wrote a skit about if drug education were taught like sex education in our schools. This would be a little harder to shoot, but could still be done in a day.

© 2007 Pete Bauer

*****

          INT. SCHOOL - DAY

          MR. MICHAELS stands in front of the classroom,
          a box of items on his desk.  STUDENTS, including
          CATHERINE, sit in the class.

                              MR. MICHAELS
                    Drug Education.  That's our topic
                    this week.  It's important to
                    remember not to do drugs.  After
                    all, most of you aren't even old
                    enough to drive, so how can we
                    expect that you'd know whether or
                    not to engage in drug use?

          Mr. Michaels pulls the box next to him.

                              MR. MICHAELS (CONT'D)
                    So, today, I'm going to show you
                    how to shoot up on heroin.
                        (pulling items out
                         individually)
                    First, you'll need some heroin.  A
                    spoon.  A lighter.  Oh, and of
                    course, your needle and tourniquet.
                    Now, the first-

                              CATHERINE
                        (raises her hand)
                    Excuse me, Mr. Michaels?

                              MR. MICHAELS
                    Yes, Catherine?

                              CATHERINE
                    Well, if you really don't want us
                    to do drugs then why are you
                    showing us how to shoot up on
                    heroin?

                              MR. MICHAELS
                    Well, Catherine, you are correct,
                    we do NOT want you to do drugs!
                    Engaging in drug use can lead to
                    addiction, acquiring life
                    threatening diseases as well as
                    other numerous unwanted outcomes.
                    So, yes, we definitely do NOT want
                    you to take drugs of any kind.
                        (beat)
                    Now, where was I?  Oh, yes,
                    preparing the heroin.

                              CATHERINE
                    Excuse me?

                              MR. MICHAELS
                        (sighs)
                    Yes, Catherine?

                              CATHERINE
                    So, if the only way avoid becoming
                    addicted or catch a disease or have
                    unwanted outcomes is NOT to take
                    drugs, then why are you showing us
                    how to use heroin?

                              MR. MICHAELS
                    Well, it's quite complex, really.
                    You see, our society has lowered
                    our expectations of our youth so
                    low that, instead of teaching you
                    simple self control, we've decided
                    to teach everyone how to use drugs
                    safely.

                              CATHERINE
                    But doesn't that just encourage us
                    to do drugs?

                              MR. MICHAELS
                    Now, Catherine, you don't want to
                    remain ignorant, do you?  I mean,
                    you're not afraid of knowledge, are
                    you?

                              CATHERINE
                    No!  But, I just thought that if
                    the best choice for teens is not to
                    take drugs that maybe we should
                    gear our education toward that,
                    instead of the other way around.

                              MR. MICHAELS
                    You lost me.

                              CATHERINE
                    I mean, I want to know what happens
                    if I take heroin...

                              MR. MICHAELS
                    Good.

                              CATHERINE
                    But does it make sense to show us
                    one behavior and expect us to act
                    the opposite?

                              MR. MICHAELS
                    Catherine?

                              CATHERINE
                    Yes?

                              MR. MICHAELS
                    What am I?

                              CATHERINE
                    A teacher.

                              MR. MICHAELS
                    And what are you?

                              CATHERINE
                    A student.

                              MR. MICHAELS
                    And what does that mean?

                              CATHERINE
                    I don't know.

                              MR. MICHAELS
                    It means I'm smarter than you.  The
                    educators in our schools have
                    determined kids today simply can't
                    control themselves, so we're going
                    to show you how to take drugs
                    properly and safely... even though
                    you shouldn't take any drugs... but
                    in case you do... even though we
                    don't want you to... but we're
                    teaching it to you anyway... so you
                    won't do it.
                        (smiles)
                    I don't understand why this is so
                    hard for you to understand.  It's
                    really quite simple.

          He holds up the needle.

                              MR. MICHAELS (CONT'D)
                    Now, remember, never share needles.
                    Well, let me rephrase that... I
                    don't want to offend anyone.  Some
                    of you may want to share needles
                    and if you do that's okay, but it
                    can lead to very serious diseases
                    such as HIV, but that's okay, just
                    make sure you get checked out every
                    year, just in case.

                              CATHERINE
                        (raises hand)
                    Excuse me?

                              MR. MICHAELS
                        (frustrated)
                    Yes, Catherine!

                              CATHERINE
                    Well, isn't the best way to make
                    sure you don't get a disease is not
                    to use the needle in the first
                    place?

                              MR. MICHAELS
                    Then how would you shoot up on
                    heroin?

                              CATHERINE
                    That's my point... you wouldn't.

                              MR. MICHAELS
                    I thought we've been through this!
                        (class bells sound)
                    Okay, we're out of time today.
                    Tomorrow we'll go over shooting up
                    on heroin, snorting cocaine and the
                    drug of choice you've seen on the
                    music television channel, taking
                    meth!

          The kids stand and gather their books.

                              MR. MICHAELS (CONT'D)
                    And remember, don't do drugs!

U.S. Immigration Skit

I once heard someone compare the border security issue in the U.S. to someone breaking into your house. At lunch yesterday I took that idea and wrote out this simple sketch. I'm thinking of video taping it and throwing it up on You Tube... what do you think?

© 2007 Pete Bauer

*****

                                             FADE IN.

            INT. HOUSE - EVENING

            A woman, KATE, enters her home to find MIKEY
            sitting at the bar in her kitchen, eating a
            sandwich.

                                KATE
                      Who are you?

                                MIKEY
                      I'm Mikey.  I lived in the house
                      behind your's.

                                KATE
                      What are you doing here?

                                MIKEY
                      Well, you have a really nice house.

                                KATE
                      Thank you.

                                MIKEY
                      Probably the best house in the
                      entire neighborhood.

                                KATE
                      Okay.

                                MIKEY
                      So, I thought I'd come over and
                      live here instead.

                                KATE
                      But I live here.

                                MIKE
                      I mean, your house is much better
                      than mine!  So, I thought I'd come
                      over and share it with you.

                                KATE
                      But this is my house.  I was born
                      in this house.

                                MIKEY
                      I know, but you've got plenty of
                      room.  All of those empty bedrooms.

                                KATE
                      I know, but, maybe I'm not making
                      myself clear...

                                MIKEY
                          (interrupts)
                      Look, I noticed, no offense, that
                      your house was kinda messy, so I
                      cleaned up a bit.  I'm a very hard
                      worker.

                                KATE
                          (notices his work)
                      Yes, it is very clean.  You did a
                      good job.

                                MIKEY
                      I work very hard.  I'm a very nice
                      guy, really.  You can trust me.

                                KATE
                      But you broke into my house.

                                MIKEY
                      That's because your house was
                      better than mine.

                                KATE
                      But, how can I trust you if the
                      first thing you did is break into
                      my house?

                                MIKEY
                      Oh, you're one of those.

                                KATE
                      One of what?

                                MIKEY
                      One of those who automatically
                      assume because I come from the
                      other neighborhood that I'm not
                      trustworthy.

                                KATE
                      No, that's not it at all.

                                MIKEY
                      You're a bigot.

                                KATE
                      I am not!  This has nothing to do
                      with whether I like you or not,
                      it's about what you've done to get
                      here.

                                MIKEY
                      But you have more than I do, so I
                      want some of it.  Besides, I'm
                      willing to work for it.

                                KATE
                      I already have people who clean my
                      house.

                                MIKEY
                      I'll do it cheaper.

                                KATE
                      That's not the point.  When I hire
                      someone I check the references, do
                      background checks, make sure
                      they're not dangerous.  I don't
                      know anything about you.

                                MIKEY
                      I'm very nice.  You'll see.

                                KATE
                      Look, Mikey, I don't think you're
                      understanding me...

                                MIKEY
                          (winces)
                      Oh, listen, I think I pulled my
                      back cleaning up your garage, so
                      I'm going to need you to take me to
                      the doctor.

                                KATE
                      Oh, do you have insurance?

                                MIKEY
                      No, I can't afford that!  I figured
                      you'd pay for it.  I mean, if you
                      can afford this house you certainly
                      can afford to pay when I hurt
                      myself.

                                KATE
                      But-

                                MIKEY
                      Oh, and my brother-in-law, well,
                      he's one of those people you
                      mentioned before... you know, got
                      into a lot of trouble in the old
                      neighborhood.  Well, he followed me
                      over here and broke your lawn elf,
                      so I locked him in the shed in the
                      backyard.  He's not a nice guy.

                                KATE
                      Well, why doesn't he just go home.

                                MIKEY
                      Well, he's locked up in the shed
                      now.  We'll have to wait until he
                      deserves to come out.  Oh, he'll
                      need cable television and for you
                      to pay for the electricity and food
                      while he's in there.  And health
                      costs, of course.

                                KATE
                      Of course.

            The window opens in the room and another person
            sneaks in and disappears into the back of her
            house.

                                KATE (CONT'D)
                      Who's that?

                                MIKEY
                      I don't know.  He lives in my
                      neighborhood, but I've never met
                      him personally.  But, I'm sure he's
                      okay.

                                KATE
                      How do you know that?

                                MIKEY
                      I don't.  But, I'm sure he's okay.
                      You can trust him too.

                                KATE
                      Look, I have people in my house all
                      the time.  People from all of the
                      different neighborhoods, including
                      your's, have come here and are
                      welcome to stay.  But, there's a
                      process.  You have to apply, I make
                      sure you're okay, and THEN I let
                      you stay here.

                                MIKEY
                      You don't mean that!  You don't
                      have any locks on your doors or
                      windows!  If you really didn't
                      want people to walk into your
                      house whenever they wanted, surely
                      you'd lock your doors and windows,
                      wouldn't you?

                                KATE
                      Well, I got approval to put the
                      locks on my doors and some of my
                      windows, but I haven't gotten the
                      money yet.

                                MIKEY
                      You see?

            Another person sneaks into the house and hides
            behind the couch.

                                KATE
                      And who's that?

                                MIKEY
                      I have no idea.  He isn't from my
                      neighborhood, but he must have come
                      through my house to get to yours.

                                KATE
                      Why is he hiding?

                                MIKEY
                      I have no idea.

                                KATE
                      Because a few years ago some people
                      hiding behind my couch were
                      responsible for destroying part of
                      my house and some people died.

                                MIKEY
                      Well, I don't know who he is.  Now,
                      let's get back to the important
                      stuff.  Listen, as you can see,
                      there's quite a few of us in here.
                      Why don't you just toss out that
                      whole "making sure we're okay"
                      thingy and just make us permanent
                      house guests?

                                KATE
                      Because the rules are in place for
                      a reason.  They protect this house.

                                MIKEY
                      But, I'm not a bad guy!

                                KATE
                      You may not be, but what about
                      everyone else that's snuck in here?

                                MIKEY
                      I have no idea.  Oh, and I think,
                      speaking for those of us who've
                      recently moved in, we'd like to
                      talk to you about the rules of the
                      house overall.  You know, have a
                      say in how the house is run.  Stuff
                      like that.

                                KATE
                      But you don't live here!

                                MIKEY
                      Sure I do.

                                KATE
                      But you broke into my house!

                                MIKEY
                      I didn't break in, I moved in.
                      Now, you should know that my first
                      language is not your first
                      language, so I think you need to
                      start speaking in my language too.

                                KATE
                      But-

                                MIKEY
                      We already covered that you'll pick
                      up the cost of our medical bills
                      and for those locked up in the
                      shed.

                                KATE
                      But-

                                MIKEY
                      Now, here's something a lot of us
                      would like to change... your house
                      colors... red, white and blue.
                      C'mon!  We have some other ideas.

                                KATE
                      Why won't anyone listen to me!

                                                FADE OUT.

Blood Diamond (2006)

Edward Zwick loves the redemption of the seemingly unredemptive. The director of Glory and The Last Samurai continues stories of courageous acts of redemption by seriously flawed men during war time with the powerful and disturbing Blood Diamond. The story takes place in 1999 Sierra Leone during a brutal civil war and focuses around three main characters, a diamond smuggler, Danny Archer (Leonardo DiCaprio), Solomon Vandy (Djimon Hounsou), a simple fisherman who's family gets torn apart in the civil war and Maddy Bowen (Jennifer Connelly) who's a reporter looking for an inside source into diamond smuggling and its ties to the increasing arm sales in the region and the violence associated with the civil war.

When Solomon is forced into slave work looking for diamonds he finds a very rare large pink diamond. He sees it as leverage to getting his family back, Archer sees it as his way out of Africa and his failed life and Maddy sees it as the key to her story. They all see it as an opportunity for their own success and are willing to use each other as much as is required to get what they want. Through this journey the layers of the society and the effect of the civil war on the population is shown in unflinching frankness. Blood Diamond is often violent, but it uses that violence with great power. It shows children being taught to kill. It shows those children later slaughtering entire villages, then celebrating with drugs and alcohol, lead in this evil orgy by their captive leaders who effectively brainwash them into a life of extreme violence.

There are currently over 200,000 child soldiers in Africa and such tribal and internal genocide continues today. Blood Diamond, which focuses on the abuse of conflict diamonds, western greed and societal power struggles, shows to tremendous effect the complete disregard for human life in some areas of the world and how hopeless it all seems. Yet, like in Glory and The Last Samurai, Zwick offers light and hope in the form of individual heroism and sacrifice. If one person in a world of hate can understand selfessness, then maybe we can all be saved from our own greed.

Blood Diamond, like The Last Samurai, was hailed by critics yet under viewed by the mass audience. They are two very powerful, very important films about the power of redemption in our lives. Zwick has found his niche and with every subsequent film is becoming a master at presenting the eternal effect of salvation.

The Godfather (1972)

As a movie maniac there are certain films every one of my friends believes I've seen that I have not actually watched. The Godfather trilogy are three such films. It took me until late in college to "discover" Cary Grant and Alfred Hitchcock, until five years ago to see Casablanca and until 2007 to see The Godfather.

Part of the problem is that great films such as The Godfather have been commented on, parodied and quoted so often that there is not much of a surprise when watching it. I grew up watching Second City Television (SCTV) and their comedic version of it, I've seen the scene where Marlon Brando sticks an orange wedge in his mouth and scares a little kid before passing away on numerous documentaries about his life or the scene where James Caan gets gunned down or the guy finds the horse head in his bed and hec, I've even quoted "Perhaps one day you can do me a service" in my own Brando-esque way many times.

I guess that's the price I pay for waiting so long.

So, I sat down and watched the film for the first time and enjoyed myself, but was not overly moved because of the aforementioned exposure to the film. The most surprising aspect of the film, to me, is the lack of foul language. If the film was made today, I'm certain every third word would be of the four letter variety.

The film was satisfying and obviously accomplished on every level. The cinematography was tremendous and the performances excellent. I look forward to seeing The Godfather, Part II... maybe I'll find it a little less exposed and a little more refreshing than its landmark original.

Guaranteed Failure

You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

--Wayne Gretzky

Safety Harbor Little League All-Stars Runner-Up Picture

UPDATE: I've added some pics from that website to this entry. Thanks to Bob Krayer for the pics.

If you visit the Safety Harbor Little League website, you can see the picture of the team holding the runner up plaque.

The teams line up for the National Anthem.

Gabe in the dugout before the game.

Gabe up to bat.

What's funny is if you look at Gabe
in the picture, he's completely dissatisfied.

Safety Harbor Falls 6-5 to Countryside in the District 12 Championship

Well, it wasn't meant to be, I guess. After building a 4-0 lead in the first inning, Safety Harbor allowed Countryside to climb back into a 4-4 tie with errors and giving up a two run home run. In the fourth inning, Safety Harbor climbed back into the lead 5-4, in the top of the fifth allowed 2 runs to score on a costly error and that's the way it ended, 6-5.

The team was very disappointed, as you could imagine. And, not to sound like a homer, but our team was far more talented, but we did not make the hits when we needed it most. Playing that Countryside team nine times out of ten and we probably would win all of them. For the first time in the tournament we failed at hitting the ball effectively and allowed timely errors to decide the game against us.

Gabe had an okay game, going 1-3 with a single and two ground outs. He made multiple near-catch dives in the infield, but the balls continued past his glove into the outfield.

His effort was there, the talent was there, but the score was not. A wasted opportunity, to be sure.

So ends spring baseball. I was very proud of Gabe this playoffs. He started spring ball in the regular season at second base and made four errors in his first game and got called looking on third strikes numerous times.

Boy, how he's grown. He ended the tournament season with no errors and no strike outs, getting on base one way or another 14 out of 17 at bats.

Thanks to all of the coaches, especially Bob Bates for all of his work. And a special thank you to Robbie and Kristi for coming down from Georgia, for Betty, Chaz and Elizabeth coming to the game, and for Tim O. for supporting Gabe at the game today.

I'll be thinking about the "What ifs..." for the next few weeks, I'm certain.

Safety Harbor Survives Scare, Beats West Pasco 10-8 to play for District Title!

Safety Harbor All-Stars went into the sixth inning with a 10-3 lead. Our starting pitcher, John Paul, ran out of gas after an impressive game and was replaced by Gabe. Unfortunately for us, West Pasco's bats came alive, hitting Gabe's accurate pitches through the infield and dropping some in front of the outfielders, scoring a few runs.

Gabe pitching.

Coach Bob Bates brought in Tommy Daily to try and close out the game. Tommy struck out one and Gabe, now playing right field, caught a high fly ball to get the team to two outs. With bases loaded and Tommy reaching his limit of 20 pitches (any more and he couldn't pitch tomorrow and he's our starter), Coach Bates turned to Steve Javaruski to close out the game. With bases loaded, two outs and Safety Harbor leading 10-8, Javaruski threw a strike which was lined high and deep into right center field, where it was caught by Andrew Llewellyn to bring the exciting game to a dramatic climax.

Gabe hitting leftie.

All of the parents and coaches were spent. This is the farthest any Safety Harbor team has gone in tournament play for almost 10 years and they have never won a District Title.

Tomorrow we get our chance at making history. We face our arch rivals, the Countryside All Stars, at 3:00 p.m.

Gabe had a good game, going 2 for 2 and walking twice. At second base he made two ground outs, a tag out and a pop fly out. And, as stated before, he made that important catch in right field.

The game was a real nail biter and major cudos go to West Pasco for making such an impressive comeback.

So, tomorrow we will do our best to continue this wonderful streak. As Steven J likes to say, "we have two options... winning or winning big." That's become our motto. Let's see if we can make our dreams a reality.

Stay tuned...

Click on pic below to see one of Gabe's hits, this time from the right side.

Click for video.

Safety Harbor All Stars Win Again 9-2

Last night the Safety Harbor All Stars beat Largo All Stars 9-2. Gabe went 2-3, both were hustle singles where he beat out the throws. He also came in at the end of the game with the bases loaded.

The first batter got a hit up the middle but a great throw from center fielder John Paul to catcher Tommy Daily to get a runner at home put the end of the game just one out away. Gabe then struck out the last batter looking to end the game. Other great plays came from pitchers Robert, Andrew and Trevor, as well as the hot bats of Steven and Logan.

Gabe playing 2nd Base, JP playing Center

So, they finish the pool play the only team 3-0 and face either Countryside or West Pasco Saturday (today) at 1:00 p.m. in the semi-finals. There are no weak teams moving forward, so we have to play our best every pitch, every hit, every out.

DC and I cheer Gabe on from the
only shaded location available.

We were honored to have Robbie, Kristi, Tyler and Lauren at the game from Georgia. And Charles, Betty, Andrew, Elizabeth, Lisette, Theres, John Paul, Stephen and Chaz, still recovering from his appendectomy all came out as well! Thanks Bauers.

You just gotta love family!
Lauren hangs out with some of the Bauer kids.

Chaz even made this great sign (see below). How awesome!

A recovering Chaz takes the time
to show Gabe his support!
What a trooper!

The support from the family was great

We are very grateful for the effort and success of this young team. Now on to the next round! Go Safety Harbor!

All Stars Continue Tonight

The All Star games continue tonight. We are honored to have Kristi and Robbie from GA along with Tyler and Lauren on hand to watch tonight's game.

I'll have an update later tonight.

Ratatouille (2007)

Pixar has set the bar so incredibly high that average films seem like a huge disappointment. Ratatouille is one such disappointment. The technically marvelous, yet overly dull story revolves around a rat who can cook joining forces with a chef who can't in order to save a family restaurant.

It all sounds good on paper, but the first half of this film moved very slowly to the point that I wanted to go get some nachos just so I could have something to do. Sure, I could have been effected by recently going cold turkey on caffeine, but all of the kids around me were even more restless than I was.

Granted, there were funny moments and the last half of the film is very good, but I left the film putting it as the least effective Pixar film yet, just below A Bug's Life.

In the end, the film is about rats... animated or not, they're still rats. When you see them swarm, you instinctively squirm.

A good rental, but that's about it.

Safety Harbor All Stars Win Again, 11-0

The Safety Harbor 10-11 All Stars won again, beating Palm Harbor 11-0 in four innings. Tommy Daily pitched three innings and Gabe closed out the fourth for a combined no-hitter. There were some great hits by the team and wonderful defense plays by Logan Bates, Robert Robicheau and Andrew Llewellyn.

You can see one of Gabe's hits (DC wasn't there and Dea and I were involved in the game) and Gabe closing out the game pitching by clicking picture below. The file is a little bigger, so may take a little longer to load into your computer.

We play again next Friday. If we make the playoffs, we'll play Saturday and if we win that game we'd play for the District 12 title on Sunday.

But, lets just focus on one game at a time.

By the way, Gabe's 2 for 2 game yesterday got him mentioned in the paper this morning (see below) even though they didn't get that he hit two doubles, instead of one.


Its nice to see the team's efforts finally paying off on the field.

Safety Harbor All Stars Win 11-7

The Safety Harbor All Stars came back from an early 4-0 deficit to win their first game this tournament 11-7 over Tarpon Springs. We could not have asked for a better game to start out the tournament. Gabe batted second and also played second base. He went 2-2 with two doubles and was walked twice. On defense he caught two pop flies and had three throws to first for outs. No errors.

You can see his two hits by clicking HERE or on Pic below...

It's best viewed on Internet Explorer and, depending on your internet speed, it may take a short time to download completely. The file is a flash file, so you'll need a Flash plug-in installed. Most browsers already have this plug-in, but if not you can download one free www.adobe.com/products/flashplayer.

Thanks to DC for taking the video!

Tomorrow we play a strong Palm Harbor team, a make-up for last night's rain out.

Great game Gabe!

Charade (1963)

Charade, starring Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn, is an odd, quirky, funny and strange film about a woman (Hepburn) who's husband is murdered over a missing $250,000. She comes home to find her apartment emptied and a man (Grant) offering to assist her. She has no idea where the money is located and is hounded and threatened by a CIA official (Walter Matthau) and ex-US military buddies (James Coburn, George Kennedy) who served with Hepburn's husband.

The film has an odd sense of pacing and very light-hearted and often uncommon sense of humor. The film's logic is light and weak at best, but the weight of Grant and Hepburn's charm carry the film.

The film was not critically acclaimed, but was widely popular when it was released over 40 years ago and I can see why. The plot holes are big enough to drive through and the reactions to people being threatened with murder are far from realistic, but it's all in good fun.

It certainly will never be one of the greatest films of all time, but it is a treat to see Hepburn and Grant working together.

All-Stars Rained Out

As expected, our game was rained out last night. It will be made up on Sunday. However, we hope to play our scheduled game today at 2:00 p.m.

All-Stars Begin Tonight

Weather permitting Gabe's 10-11 All Star team begins play tonight. They have three games and the top teams move onto a playoff.

We've had two intensive weeks of practice. When Paul and Jonathan were down, we went down to the field so Jonathan (a catcher) could catch Gabe (a pitcher). During the practice, Jonathan notices a very small chink in Gabe's mechanics. When fixed, it added another five mph to Gabe's pitches. I was so relieved. I had been trying to figure out what the issue was that was causing the reduction in speed, but could never figure it out. Thanks Jonathan!

The chance of rain down here is very high, so there's a good chance the game will be postponed, but you never know.

We'll see what happens...

Killing the Family

I was watching one of my favorite shows on EWTN called Faith & Culture hosted by the charming Colleen Carroll Campbell. The show covers Catholicism in today's culture.

Last night she interviewed Helen Alvare, a Catholic expert on family law. During the interview Alvare said something very interesting. She said that, prior to the 1960s, family law in the country primarily focused on the welfare of the family. That's why divorce was much harder to get because it was often times not in the best interest of the family.

Now, however, family law has moved from the best interest of the family to the best interest of the individual. So, now, if one person in a marriage wants a divorce, they can get it easily, no matter the overall effect on the family.

But the most disturbing outcome of this migration in family law from focusing on the family to focusing on the individual is abortion and euthanasia. As Alvare explains, the concept of family has been distorted so strongly that the only people you can legally kill are members of your own family. You can kill your own child through abortion and people are pushing for us to allow the killing of our own family members through euthanasia.

Think about that for a minute. If you kill someone else's child or someone else's family member, you are a murderer. But if you murder someone in your own family through abortion and euthanasia, you are not.

Stunning.

To me, it just goes to show how resilient, clever and powerful Satan has become in destroying the primary location where faith and morals are defined and taught... the family.

Psycho (1960)

My daughter and I sat down last night to watch Psycho... the first time for her. Afterwards we re-watched certain scenes and discussed Hitchcock's use of audience expectations to build suspense and misdirect the audience. Hitchcock's genius lied in his ability to effortlessly read and anticipate what the average audience viewer wanted to see and then use that to his advantage. He does this to great effect on Psycho.

Hitchcock had seen the advent of low-budget horror movies and they were all making money, so he thought, "What would happen if I made a horror film?" So, he limited his budget to $1 million and shot the film, loosely based on the book Psycho by Robert Bloch. Hitchcock used books as inspiration, but he never felt compelled to stay true to the source material. After all, as he once said, film and literature are two different mediums. When making a film, staying true to the book is as invalid as staying true to a painting that may inspire you. Would you setup a camera and shoot a painting for two hours? No.

He and screenwriter Joseph Stefano concocted the opening of the film to revolve around Janet Leigh's character, Marion Crane, and her embezzlement of $40,000 instead of about the Bates Motel and the psychos that live there. Hitchcock was a great believer in what he dubbed the MacGuffin, which is basically a plot device that the audience felt was important, but in reality was only a tool to propel the story forward. In Psycho, its following the money.

So, when Janet Leigh shockingly meets her demise in the shower and Norman Bates, played brilliantly as Anthony Perkins, cleans up the crime scene, Hitchcock keeps the folded newspaper holding the stolen money on the end table continuously in the foreground. Why? Because the audience thinks that's what the movies about. At first, the audience thinks the story is about Marion Crane, but she dies, so then the movie MUST be about the money. The audience expects that Norman will stumble across the money and use it to escape his domineering mother. So, Hitchcock lets the audience think that, until Norman picks up the paper and throws it into the back of the trunk with the dead body, unaware the money is even there.

So now we're thrown into a tailspin.

For some reason, I've begun to feel sorry for poor, awkward Norman. I'm actually empathizing with his predicament and appreciate, on some level, his dedication to protecting his ailing mother from the murder.

And, if the main character played by an A list star just got killed off and the story isn't about the money, then now we have NO idea what is going to happen next. And, that's when Hitchcock has got you right where he wanted you all along.

That's why he's a genius and the rest of us are not.

Shot in black and white and with other strong performances by John Garland and Vera Miles, Psycho is a great film not because of the violence or necessarily the editing, but it, along with The Birds, Rear Window and North by Northwest, show how Hitchcock was so adept and using our own emotions and expectations against us.

We go into the movie theater, sit down and let Hitch steer the roller coaster knowing it's going to be an exciting ride. And he rarely disappointed.

Luck

"I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it."

--Thomas Jefferson

Oceans 13 (2007)

The only of the third-in-a-trilogies I've seen this summer, Oceans 13, is a light comedy caper that's fun to watch and quickly forgettable. Honestly, I can't remember a single line from the film, but I left the theater feeling happy. So, I guess that's something.

The film revolves Danny Ocean (Clooney) who gathers his con artist cohorts together to help their financier Ruben overcome health issues caused by a scheming, fellow casino owner (Pacino). Previous women love interests, Roberts and Zeta-Jones, do not appear in the film as this is "not their fight" or something like that. Ocean and his charming team of misfits face the daunting, conceive the improbable and achieve the impossible with a consistent Robin Hood rich-giving-to-the-poor mentality.

Oceans 13 is a lot like ice-milk. It's satisfying while you're eating it, but once you're done you can't even remember the taste.