© 2007 Pete Bauer
*****
INT. SCHOOL - DAY
MR. MICHAELS stands in front of the classroom,
a box of items on his desk. STUDENTS, including
CATHERINE, sit in the class.
MR. MICHAELS
Drug Education. That's our topic
this week. It's important to
remember not to do drugs. After
all, most of you aren't even old
enough to drive, so how can we
expect that you'd know whether or
not to engage in drug use?
Mr. Michaels pulls the box next to him.
MR. MICHAELS (CONT'D)
So, today, I'm going to show you
how to shoot up on heroin.
(pulling items out
individually)
First, you'll need some heroin. A
spoon. A lighter. Oh, and of
course, your needle and tourniquet.
Now, the first-
CATHERINE
(raises her hand)
Excuse me, Mr. Michaels?
MR. MICHAELS
Yes, Catherine?
CATHERINE
Well, if you really don't want us
to do drugs then why are you
showing us how to shoot up on
heroin?
MR. MICHAELS
Well, Catherine, you are correct,
we do NOT want you to do drugs!
Engaging in drug use can lead to
addiction, acquiring life
threatening diseases as well as
other numerous unwanted outcomes.
So, yes, we definitely do NOT want
you to take drugs of any kind.
(beat)
Now, where was I? Oh, yes,
preparing the heroin.
CATHERINE
Excuse me?
MR. MICHAELS
(sighs)
Yes, Catherine?
CATHERINE
So, if the only way avoid becoming
addicted or catch a disease or have
unwanted outcomes is NOT to take
drugs, then why are you showing us
how to use heroin?
MR. MICHAELS
Well, it's quite complex, really.
You see, our society has lowered
our expectations of our youth so
low that, instead of teaching you
simple self control, we've decided
to teach everyone how to use drugs
safely.
CATHERINE
But doesn't that just encourage us
to do drugs?
MR. MICHAELS
Now, Catherine, you don't want to
remain ignorant, do you? I mean,
you're not afraid of knowledge, are
you?
CATHERINE
No! But, I just thought that if
the best choice for teens is not to
take drugs that maybe we should
gear our education toward that,
instead of the other way around.
MR. MICHAELS
You lost me.
CATHERINE
I mean, I want to know what happens
if I take heroin...
MR. MICHAELS
Good.
CATHERINE
But does it make sense to show us
one behavior and expect us to act
the opposite?
MR. MICHAELS
Catherine?
CATHERINE
Yes?
MR. MICHAELS
What am I?
CATHERINE
A teacher.
MR. MICHAELS
And what are you?
CATHERINE
A student.
MR. MICHAELS
And what does that mean?
CATHERINE
I don't know.
MR. MICHAELS
It means I'm smarter than you. The
educators in our schools have
determined kids today simply can't
control themselves, so we're going
to show you how to take drugs
properly and safely... even though
you shouldn't take any drugs... but
in case you do... even though we
don't want you to... but we're
teaching it to you anyway... so you
won't do it.
(smiles)
I don't understand why this is so
hard for you to understand. It's
really quite simple.
He holds up the needle.
MR. MICHAELS (CONT'D)
Now, remember, never share needles.
Well, let me rephrase that... I
don't want to offend anyone. Some
of you may want to share needles
and if you do that's okay, but it
can lead to very serious diseases
such as HIV, but that's okay, just
make sure you get checked out every
year, just in case.
CATHERINE
(raises hand)
Excuse me?
MR. MICHAELS
(frustrated)
Yes, Catherine!
CATHERINE
Well, isn't the best way to make
sure you don't get a disease is not
to use the needle in the first
place?
MR. MICHAELS
Then how would you shoot up on
heroin?
CATHERINE
That's my point... you wouldn't.
MR. MICHAELS
I thought we've been through this!
(class bells sound)
Okay, we're out of time today.
Tomorrow we'll go over shooting up
on heroin, snorting cocaine and the
drug of choice you've seen on the
music television channel, taking
meth!
The kids stand and gather their books.
MR. MICHAELS (CONT'D)
And remember, don't do drugs!
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2 comments:
So, when are you going to start filming?
Well, the Immigration one can be shot quickly. The classroom setup would take a little more coordination.
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