Monday, August 22, 2005

Conflicting Self Infliction

I love to make films. But I don't make a living at it... yet. So, I do the day job thing until my passions overtake me and then I must find a creative outlet... and quick... like an addict suddenly needing a fix. And in my constant internal battle between what I want to do and what I have to do, I end up putting myself into a no win situation.

People's Exhibit A: The Business Trip. It had been over a year since the final edit of our first DV feature The Box had been complete. I was getting ansy and was looking for something, ANYthing that I could throw together to fill this creative void while being able to fit in it my limited available time.

So, I scour my old short scripts and find a copy for The Business Trip. It's now seven years old, but has a nice little story, taking place in a single location. I update the script, scrounge together some friends, storyboard the mother out it and schedule a three day shoot. As it turns out, due to last minute scheduling conflicts, three shoot days turns to one, 14-hour shoot day.

At the end of the exhaustive day, I am immediately conflicted. Part of me is satisified that we shot something, anything at all. The other part of me doesn't want to settle for making crap because that's all I have time to make. If I'm going to spend 14 hours of my life shooting something, it should be good, shouldn't it?

I edit the piece. The acting is strong, the lighting average to marginal and the directing okay... kinda. Again, I'm conflicted. It's nice to have accomplished something... but, in my exhaustive state during the shoot day I made some fundamental directing errors. It has to do with a 180 degree line of sight and crossing that line and confusing the audience and annoying the hell out of me and stuff like that. But, in the end, at least I was able to express myself creatively. But, in the other end, its with a product that should have been better.

Ugh. Impatience is the root of all sloppiness. I must find a way to fill my creative void and retain a higher level of quality... somehow. Or else I'll be frustrating myself for the rest of my natural life.

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