The Last Week - Part 3 of 5

My father is an amazingly patient man. Growing up I watched my father work on a lot of projects such as home fix-its or car engine repair or fixing my bike chain. No matter how difficult or frustrating the task, my father never got angry. One time I said "If I were you, I'd be ticked off by now." He said "Why, it's an inanimate object? It doesn't have any feelings against me. If the parts aren't going together, then it's because I'm doing something wrong."

I still struggle achieving the same level of patience he seemed to master.

That same patience was evident when we visited my father. When he was able to speak we would always ask how he was doing. His response was always a simple "I'm okay" or "I'm fine." Fine? Okay? You're immobilized and shaking due to years of Parkinsons, moving your legs inflicts serious pain, you have bed sores, you can't swallow, your stomach is barely processing the food being pumped into it, you've got a serious infection, you have a sporadic fever, you can barely keep your eyes open and you struggle formulating even the simplest of words... and you're okay?

I marveled at his demeanor, at his approach to life. He never complained. Sure, growing up he'd rant about the world with catch phrases like "mark my words!" or yell at us about not cleaning our room, but when it came to his own struggles or his own suffering, he never complained. He simply accepted the challenge and replied, "I'm okay."

My mother and I closely monitored my father's breathing and the strength of his grip. Prior to the surge of energy, his grip was strong. Today it was weaker. His eyes were half-closed. He could only verbalize a few words.

With Christmas approaching I called my wife and asked her to bring the kids up to North Carolina to spend Christmas with my mother. I couldn't imagine her spending the holiday in that cabin alone. It was my brother who, during a previous visit, put up the Christmas tree and lights around the house. And, sure, my sister who lives nearby would gladly have my mother over for the Bauer Christmas Eve celebration instituted by my father and what has become family tradition.

But waking up on Christmas day alone? With her husband suffering a few miles down the road? Well, I couldn't accept that. So, my wife packed and hit the road. I couldn't wait for her to arrive.

The presence of my children added a pleasant youthfulness to the house. As soon as they arrived we all headed up to the nursing home to see my father. My kids were nervous, my wife cautious, but they knew they had to put aside their own feelings or fears and support my parents during this extremely difficult time.

My mother held my father's hand and my family all said "Hi." My Dad ackowledged their presence and we all prayed over him. Afterwards my children struggled with seeing their grandfather in such a devastating condition. There were many tears in the car before heading back to the cabin. Especially my own. Having been keeping up my strength in front of my mother all this time, when I was finally alone with my family I was able to drop my defenses and relied on my wife as I sobbed in her arms.

The Last Week - Part 2 of 5

As I drove my mother to the nursing home that housed my ailing and dying father, I was grateful for the time with her. Being the last of eight kids it was a rare day to have one-on-one time with my mother. And now having been married and with my own kids, well, time just seems to slip away.

I often tell my wife how lucky she is to have her parents live so close to us. There were so many, many times that I would think of my parents and wish I could just stop by and talk with them. But, 10 hours in the car is a long way to go just to have a chat. So, I'd call... but that wasn't the same.

So, even though the situation was far from pleasant, I still cherished the simple moments with my mother on the drives to and from the nursing home. She is such a strong and independent woman with a wonderful sense of humor. She has piercing and beautiful blue eyes and a laugh that warms my heart.

For the early part of the week, my mother and I, along with one of my sisters who lives nearby, would visit Dad. We'd wipe his brow or hold his hand or talk to him about our days. We'd spend an hour or two with him and then leave, promising to come back the next day.

One night, around 11 p.m., my mother approached my room, crying. She said "Everyday we leave that hospital room expecting Dad to be there. But, one day he won't. I want to spend more time with him tomorrow." I held her in my arms as she cried and I did my best to console her. It is odd to think that a child can offer strength to a parent. After all, we spend our lives turning to them for strength. To have the roles reversed was strange at first, but I soon realized it was a blessing.

I thanked God for allowing me to be there for her during that very vulnerable time. A small gift in an otherwise tough week.

The next day my mother spent over five hours with him, holding his hand, talking to him or simply being with him. My father worshipped my mother. He was always very clear to us children that we came in third... God was always first, our mother was a close second and we dear children were simply third.

My father's health varied from day to day. Sometimes he would be feverish, others not. Some days he would be barely conscious, others more vibrant. My parent's parish priest stopped by to give my father the Annointing of the Sick (which used to be called Last Rites). As Father prayed over him and explained that it was okay for him to leave this planet, it seemed as if my father was unsure as to why the priest was talking to him about such a thing as dying. It occured to my mother and me that perhaps, now less feverish, my father may not know or understand just how serious his situation had become.

The next day we arrived at the nursing home stunned to find my father extremely alert and aware. He was sitting up, his eyes wide open, his speech mostly understandable. It was amazing.

I took this opportunity to do a few important things. I took his hand and I told him I loved him. I told him just how much I had missed him and of all of the times I had wanted to stop by to talk. And how, even in this surreal moment, I was grateful and happy to be spending this moment with him. I also gave him a synopsis of what had occured over the previous weeks such as his fever, his infections, his atrophy and the other challenges facing him. I reminded him of all of the family that had visited him. And I told him that he raised good kids and that we would take care of Mom.

We ended that visit as we had all others. We placed our hands on him and prayed the Our Father, Hail Mary's and Glory Be's. We prayed that Jesus would give my father peace of heart, mind and soul. We prayed that the Holy Spirit would grant him strength to face whatever challenges he was to face. And we prayed, above all things, that God's will be done.

Afterward my mother and I were both encouraged and confused as to my father's health. When we returned to the cabin we checked a list of things to look for that the Hospice people had given my mother earlier. We realized that my father had now attained every item in the list that pertains to the last two weeks of a person's life, including the surge of energy.

The surge to me seems to be a gift from the Almighty, allowing us one final chance to connect with those about to die. To mend past rifts. To seek forgiveness. Or to forgive. To reiterate our love for them and appreciation for them in our lives.

I felt so blessed, blessed beyond words, to have been there to share that last surge with my father.

Christmas was fast approaching and my father would never again reach the level of awareness we shared with him that day.

The Last Week - Part 1 of 5

One may think that spending the last week with your dying father would be a depressing event, but the reality is that, for me, such a week was filled with numerous and unexpected blessings.

My father had been declining in health for the past six years due to the onset of Parkinsons. We had spent the previous Christmas with my parents in their North Carolina home, during which time my ailing father told my wife how difficult it was to get up everyday and not to mourn when he finally passes away.

I remember placing my hand on my father during Christmas Mass that year, praying over him, feeling his body tremble with uncontrollable minor spasms, my eyes filling and eventually overflowing with tears. I felt his pain, his suffering and wondered in my heart if this would be the last Christmas I would celebrate with him.

It turns out my fear was right.

A few weeks ago a series of calls ran through the family tree alerting us that my father had developed pneumonia and an infection. At 83 and weak, we knew that any simple ailment may be the catalyst for his eventual demise. His fever was high, his Parkinsons had interferred with his ability to swallow and he was given a feeding tube. The doctor's gave him days to live.

Blessed with an understanding boss and a job that allows working from a remote location if necessary, I immediately hopped a ride with one of my brothers and his wife and drove up to North Carolina. We stayed with my mom in their small cabin.

Within days the entire family, all seven of his children, stopped by to see him, talk to him, pray with him and for him.

When I first entered his room I almost walked passed him. He was so skinny, so frail, immobile and barely conscious. The mere sight of his weakened state nearly brought me to tears. But I had to be strong, especially for my mother.

Leaving the room and with my mother down the hall far in front of me, I lurched into my sister's arms and burst into deep, vocal tears.

Everyday we would visit him and talk to him. We were unsure if he could really understand the complexity of the situation, but it didn't matter at the time. The doctors told us that the hearing is the last sense to decline, so we just kept talking. We knew that he knew we were there for him.

Later, the family met and came to the same, uncomfortable and unfathomable conclusion that our father would never leave that room. Whether that be days, weeks or months, in his current health and atrophied muscles, his final bed would be in that nursing home.

It was a moment my mother struggled with the most. After all, this was her husband and best friend for 62 years. Watching him decline over the years had perhaps clouded her ability to see how much he had weakened. Or, perhaps it was not wanting to believe it. Or some combination of both. Either way, many tears were shed that night and difficult, but necessary questions were starting to be asked about my father's wishes for his funeral.

Over the next few days my father stablized and most of the family had to return to their jobs and responsibilities. Again, blessed with the option, I extended my stay and worked from my parents cabin.

It would be the last week of my father's life.

Charles Leo Bauer, Sr. 1924-2007

My father passed away on Christmas Eve.  He was a great man that shaped me in ways I'm still discovering.  

I'll post more on this later.

My Mom, Dad and Me.

Thank you for all of your prayers and concern over the past few weeks.  

 

The Separation of Church and Faith

Recently, in my life, I have found myself encountering a lot of fallen-away Catholics. And it saddens me. When I have the courage to inquire, I usually find out that these ex-Catholics have left the church because of human failings or a disillusionment with "organized" religion.

I don't doubt their sincerity of their reasoning, but I am completely at a loss as to why people's personal relationships with Jesus are at all defined or effected by humans at all. I have always been very clear that no priest, no church, no bishop can get in the way of me and Jesus.

The more I research the early church, the more I come to believe that the Catholic church is the most in line with what the Apostles had enacted. The mass as we know it today was already in place within one generation of Jesus' resurrection, which means, if you study, that it had to have been put in place by the apostles. Non-adherence to the traditions and teachings of the Apostles was not allowed as it quickly created heresy. Which means the men who walked with Christ understood the meaning of Jesus' Last Supper and took as literal Jesus' statements in John that we must consume his flesh and blood in order to have eternal life. And that they converted that understanding, post the descent of the Holy Spirit upon them during Pentecost, into the Eucharistic celebration.

So many people search for God in so many places. And so many Catholics, unaware of the miracle afforded them every Mass, look elsewhere for God's presence when it is on the altar right in front of them.

No priest, no man, no woman, no bishop, no human is going to get between me and the sacraments Jesus formulated and the Apostles instituted. If I believe in Jesus, where else would I go? Where else would I be closer to the truth than in Mass? If I believe in Jesus I have to believe what he said. And if what he said was that we are required to consume him, as the Jews had to consume the lamb during the first Passover, in order to be saved, who am I to argue? And where else am I going to find that?

In a forest? In a church where the last supper is merely symbolic? In other sin-stained human beings?

God is everywhere, yes, as God's creation is everywhere. But, God's real, tangible presence, per his own words and deeds, is available to me in the Mass.

I am saddened by those who do not realize it and have looked elsewhere. Looking for Jesus outside of the Eucharist is like asking a blind guide to show you an art gallery. You may stumble across Jesus on occasion, but the path will be fraught with error.

The older I get the more I am thankful for the gift of time. Because, every day I try to convert the sum of my life from being a good person to being a holy one. It will take every second remaining in my life to get me close. After all, as Jesus said in the Gospel Sunday of John the Baptist...

"Amen, I say to you, among those born of women there has been none greater than John the Baptist; yet the least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he."

If John the Baptist is less than the least of heaven, then where does that put me?

After Life (1997)

What's the one thing that every human being have in common, no matter of race or creed, of financial status or influence?

Death.

We all die. It is as natural to our existence as is our birth.

The book After Life, by Michael H. Brown uses in-depth research of near death experiences as well as visions from various religious to try and get his hands about what we can expect after we die. Inclusive in this short book are visions of Heaven, Hell and Purgatory.

Non-Catholics struggle with the concept of Purgatory. The short of it is, God is perfection. If we die with any sin or having committed grave sins in our lifetime, we are far from perfect and to assume we are worthy of immediate entry into the presence of the Creator simply because we were a good person... well, that doesn't really make sense.

Perfection cannot coexist with imperfection.

So how do we become perfect? The same way we grow here on Earth... through struggle. Through purification. In a place called Purgatory.

Purgatory fulfills two purposes... to cleanse us from our sin and to break us from attraction to sin... you know, those same sins we do over and over again. What makes us attracted to that sin? Well, whatever draws us toward sin also draws us away from God, so that attraction must be broken and we must be cleansed.

Only saints... extremely holy people, who have so little sin and history of sin to keep them from a near immediate presence into Heaven and allowed in the same room with the Almighty.

For the rest of us... there's Purgatory.

In After Life, Brown, using as many sources and resources as he could find, tries to piece together what our eventual and eternal location is like, whether that be Heaven, Hell or Purgatory. Hell, of course, is a dark and sad place, full of people who refuse to love God, to acknowledge him, those who have abused the sacraments and those who have pulled people away from God. It is dark and sinister and perverse. His descriptions are very disturbing.

Purgatory contains various levels from darkness to light. The more purified we become, the lighter it gets, until we are escorted into Heaven by the Virgin Mary or Michael, the Arc Angel.

Heaven is beyond our comprehension... as if all of our senses were magnified a million times. It is as if we are swimming in a bright and luminous love.

Brown also uses Marian messages from various apparitions where Mary talks about these three places and the work we must do to avoid damnation. One thing in particular stuck out in my mind... it is very simple, but very profound.

As Brown puts it, "every second here counts."

Every second, what are our thoughts, our feelings, our generosity, our focus... Jesus and God will judge us on every second of our lives. We are held responsible for every moment here, not just the big events.

He also mentions that our judgment is immediate and, once in the celestial arena, you fully agree with the outcome because you finally "get it." You understand the big picture. What it all means. And what your life meant in regards to it.

After Life is a very quick read... just over 100 pages, but it is a very interesting read.

How can we really know what is next after our soul is released from our bodies? No one can truly ever know until we die. But Brown's After Life does an admiral job trying to use what little information that is available to give us a possible hint at what is to come and what we can expect.

Someday I'll see you all on the other side.

The Journey of Natty Gann (1985)

With the 1930's depression in full swing and work hard to come by, a struggling single father (actor Ray Wise) leaves his street-smart daughter, Natty (Meredith Salenger), in order to get work across the country. He leaves his tom-boyish daughter with a custodian (Lianie Kazan) until he can save enough money to send for her. After the father leaves and the custodian betrays her, Natty runs away and starts on a cross-country trek in search for her father.

And there in lies the story of the 1985 Disney release of The Journey of Natty Gann.

During her journey she befriends a wolf, a young and handsome hobo (John Cusack), a gang of abandoned children, a small farm family and a strict orphanage. Riding the rails with no money or guidance, Natty struggles to survive. Through the growing reliance on the wolf for protection and his reliance on her for freedom, they form an unlikely friendship.

Natty Gann was one of Disney's first non-G rated releases in the mid-80's when they were trying to branch out. They released other non-G films such as Something Wicked This Way Comes during this time. Eventually, they formed the company Touchstone to release such work for them. But, at the time, Disney releasing a PG rated flick was real news.

Natty Gann is a good old fashioned family flick with perhaps one or two light four letter words sprinkled in. The story moves quickly from one scene and one location to the next. Salenger as Natty is cute and does a very nice job in the lead role. This was to be her breakout performance, but she never reached a very high status in Hollywood.

Cusack adds a touch of innocent, child-like romance to the plot. Actor Wise, as Natty's father, is perfectly cast as the struggling father. He has a classic handsomeness that fits the timeframe extremely well.

On a side note, the film soundtrack was composed by James Horner, whom I had learned to like with his work on Star Trek II. Horner's work on Natty Gann is very good and its sad to think that his work for this film was never released as an album or soundtrack.

The Journey of Natty Gann accomplished what it set out to do... to create a period children's film with a slight gritty edge. It's not brilliant, but it does work.

Prayers Requested...

My father's struggle with illness and infection has resulted in an inevitable situation. The doctors have stopped the antibiotics for my father, as they were not working.

It is now only a matter of time.

So, I ask for anyone who reads this to take just a moment to pray for Charles Leo Bauer, Sr. Pray that his soul is ready for his next great adventure, his Heavenly journey. Pray that the Virgin Mary stays true to her promise, to be with him at the hour of his death. And that his parents, whom he had not seen since his teen years, eagerly wait to meet him upon his departure from this world.

And also take a moment to pray for my mother, to give her strength and faith during this difficult time. She has never asked for her own will, but God's to be done.

And, finally, take a moment to thank God for his will being done in this situation. He always knows what is best for us... even if we don't understand it at the moment.

I thank you God for a wonderful father who visited me in my dreams last night. For a man who lived his faith, loved his kids and honored his wife for over 62 years. For a man who will always be my hero. For a man whom I proudly call my father.


Thank you, Lord. We have been blessed by his presence, example, faith and leadership. I only hope I can live up to the shadow of the man who shaped me into the husband and father I am today.

A Christmas Carol (2007)

My daughter's first real acting gig outside of films we've shot is A Christmas Carol at the St. Pete Little Theater. As an added bonus, my wife is also in the play.

My son and I sat down in this truly historic theater (over fifty years old) housing this equally historic theater company (over seventy years old) and watched a very enjoyable and relatively short version of the A Christmas Carol story. The show is carried and completely enjoyable due to the performance of Michael DuMouchel as the lead character Ebeneezer Scrooge. He has both a hard heart and a sharp wit. DuMouchel is able to find wonderful, small moments of humor in this iconic role, giving his character a full three dimensions.

The rest of the cast is solid and the entire production runs slightly over an hour in length.

As for a theater experience from my wife and daughter... my daughter has enjoyed every single moment of it. She truly loves the craft of acting and savors every moment of the process, from auditions to rehearsal to performance.

My wife, on the other hand, is not wired that way. My wife hates the process of anything. She likes the idea of dinner and eating the dinner, but not cooking. She likes the idea of decorating the house and looking at our decorated house, but not decorating. And she likes the idea of being in a play and enjoys the performances, but really disliked the rehearsal process.

All that being said, it was nice for her to be able to share our daughter's first "real" acting gig with her.

If you get a chance, check out SPLT's A Christmas Carol. It was added late into their overall program schedule and only runs through the end of next week. Tickets are cheap and the theater is big, so see the play if you can. DuMouchel's performance is worth the price of admission.

BTW - Michael DuMouchel's brother Steve played Lamont Vaughn in the low-budget feature I wrote called Ready, Willing & Able. Small world.

Four Witnesses (2002)

Four Witnesses is a great, great book! Period. I read all 340 pages in less than two days. For a "non-reader" like myself, that's saying something.

As a Catholic, I have often wondered how the church got where it is today. What were the catalysts for certain beliefs, traditions and rituals? And how close is it now to what the original Apostles instituted?

The Roman Catholic church is an apostolic church, meaning it is based solely on the teachings and examples of the Apostles. But, some 2000 years later, how do we know what the Apostles truly meant? Since the Luther schism, reinterpretations of what it means to be a Christian has generated numerous versions and denominations of the faith.

So, how can we know the Apostle's intent? And under what historical context were such decisions decided... decisions which helped form the Catholic church today?

It's wise and logical to turn to the immediate followers of the Apostles to get a glimpse into how the Apostles intended the faith to be lived and grown. After all, these followers would pattern their lives after the Apostles and these Apostles would have been the first to have converted a belief in Jesus Christ into a day-to-day existence.

Four Witnesses examines the lives and the writings of the early church fathers who were either followers of the Apostles or the Apostles' apprentices: Clement of Rome, Ignatius of Antioch, Justin Martyr and Irenaeus of Lyons.

The author, Rod Bennett, was surprised to find that these early days of the church formation were well documented... over 1000 pages are available for reading and study. Pages written in the first 100 years or so after the resurrection of Christ. And he has taken that information and consolidated it, along with his own personal journey of faith, into a format easily digestible to today's reader.

A couple of broad-stroke differences culturally that both helped define the creation and growth of the church are the Mentor/Apprentice structure of the society and the importance of oral tradition at the time.

In Christ's day, one learned a craft or skill or knowledge from a master. There were no vocational schools or grand university system available at the time. The validity of the apprentice was based almost solely on the validity of the master. Jesus learned to be a carpenter from his father, Joseph. If Jesus were to say "I'm a carpenter," the first question to follow was "who was your master?" "Joseph." If they liked Joseph's work, they trusted Jesus' carpenter skills.

So, when the Apostles set forth in their ministry, their master was Jesus. And as their ministries grew, the Apostles took on apprentices to pass along all that they knew and how to live as this new thing called a "Christian." By analyzing the writings and rituals used by these apprentices, you can immediately understand what they were handed down from their masters, the Apostles.

Secondly, oral tradition was critical. Most people couldn't read or write, so having the written word did not reach the majority of the Christian church at that time. Tradition and how to live as a Christian was passed on using a "listen to what I say and do what I do" philosophy.

I was amazed to find out that the majority of what we call the Catholic Mass and Catholic Church had already been instituted before most of the New Testament had even been written!

Also critical to the Church at the time was the importance of following and obeying your spiritual "masters." Peter was the greatest of the Apostles. Everyone agreed on this. But, to avoid heresy, churches had to completely submit to the skill and knowledge of the Apostle's apprentices, meaning the bishops, priests and deacons. Heresy always started when the lineage, the direct line back to the Apostles, was broken.

The same occurs today.

The book is so rich and full of wonderful information that I could write about it for hours. But, some of the highlights that surprised me were that the first catechesis of the Christian faith (called the Didache), written between 60 and 90 A.D., tells Christians how to live their faith and includes "do not kill a fetus by abortion." That means such a belief must have come from the Apostles themselves. By 200 A.D. the church stated "we acknowledge that life begins with conception, because we contend that the soul begins at conception. Life begins when the soul begins."

So, if you wonder why the Catholic church is so adamantly against abortion, you can rest assured its because the men who walked with Jesus Christ himself believed it to be murder.

The second amazing aspect of the early church is that it was attacked, via heresy, immediately upon Jesus' resurrection. I'm sure Satan felt the best time to kill the faith is in its infancy. The leader of the heretical movement, which later became known as the Gnosticism, was led by Simon the Magician (or Simon Magus). How confusing it must have been for pagans to hear similar, but very different versions of Christianity from two men called Simon. And how effectively evil of Satan to devise such a simple attack.

For the next 500 years, the church would fight various forms of Gnosticism, which basically believed that Jesus was never human, only a ghost or spirit. This means his suffering is invalidated. Which means his sacrifice for sins is invalidated. Which leads to undermining the true need for salvation from sin and avoiding a sinful life. Which leads to a whole lot of un-Christian behavior. But the message preached by both Simons sounded a lot alike.

The thing that separated Simon Peter from Simon Magus is the same thing that caused Simon Peter to deny Christ three times... people recognized him as a follower of Christ. They saw him with Jesus. They understood him to be the apprentice to Jesus, his master.

That's just the tip of of the iceberg. There is so much more in this book. I could write a hundred more paragraphs... but then, that would be plagiarism.

Find this book. Get it, read it, love it. It's an amazing, enlightening experience!

Next (2007)

Imagine, if you will, that you were born with the ability to see two minutes into your future. Not "the" future, only "your" future. What would you do with it? How would you keep a talent like that hidden? How would you hide in plain sight?

In the film Next, starring Nicholas Cage, Jessica Biel and Julianne Moore, Cage plays Chris Johnson, the man with the gift who hides by performing as a magician in Vegas.

He's fallen for teacher Liz Cooper (Biel) while trying to avoid FBI Agent Farris (Moore), who is looking for Johnson in order to help her stop a nuke from going off in California.

Next is a good ol' fashioned popcorn movie that asks the viewer to enjoy the ride.... and it's a pretty fun ride. The story unfolds quickly and believably, considering you buy into the entire concept to begin with.

Cage's ability to portray the everyman, even though he's far from it, continues to amaze me. It doesn't matter if he's a down and out two-bit criminal (Raising Arizona) or geeky historian stealing the Declaration of Independence (National Treasure) or a man with the ability to see two minutes into his future... Cage is able to make you think you could be him. That's a gift few actors in history have been able to pull off.

Biel continues to rise up the Hollywood food chain. I've liked her since 7th Heaven. I remember seeing the show for the first time and when she came onto the screen, immediately asking my wife "who's that?" "Jessica something..." my wife responded. "She's got the look," I replied. "What look?" my wife asked. "Movie star look."

My wife didn't believe me. But, alas, here we are... what can I say. I'm brilliant.

Anyway, her work in The Illusionist was wonderful and she continues to command greater roles and more screen time with every film. She's a real natural beauty and, I hope, will someday rise to the level of a true A-list star. It must be frustrating for her... having been in so many projects that have not quite reached their full potential. But she has some nice, real acting moments in Next, which is hard to do in a film such as this. She'll have to fight the likes of Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johannsen for the juiciest roles available for actresses in her age range.

The ever-talented Moore, however, seems miscast as the tough-as-nails FBI agent. Her "tough guy" lines just don't ring true. I wanted to like her... I've liked her in so many films, including Children of Men, but in Next... well, I hope she doesn't play another tough gal.

The pacing and direction of Next, helmed by Lee Tamahori, are well done. The special effects, however, were surprisingly weak at times. Seemed like old technology was being used or something. Odd to sacrifice there on a movie that relies so heavily on it. Or maybe they just hired the wrong company. They spent $70 million bucks on this movie. The SFX look like they spent $20 million.

All that being said, however, Next is a fun movie ride. If you can accept the premise and just enjoy the story, you can forgive the rest.

Plus, the ending is very, very cool.

A Biblical Defense of Catholicism (2003)

I don't just watch movies. Sure, I watch a lot of movies, but I also read books. The latest book I've finished is called A Biblical Defense of Catholicism by Dave Armstrong.

The book is chalk full of biblical references to the traditions and tenets of the Catholic faith, including faith and works, purgatory and so on.

Armstrong does a good job of showing both Old and New Testament connections to the subject matter... not an easy job. The book itself is a very good reference piece, but not an easy read. It makes consistent and repeated examples from various books in the bible that validate various Catholic beliefs, but it is little more than that. It lacks a personal story to make it enticing, however it doesn't lessen its overall effectiveness when it comes to fulfilling the title of the book.

I would strongly recommend this book for those of you looking for biblical connections to certain Catholic beliefs. If you want to simply scan quoted bible references or, instead, use each chapter to propel you into deeper study, the book will provide you the directions to such a journey.

Apocalypto (2006)

Using the influx of heavenly cash stored from The Passion of the Christ, Mel Gibson used his new found clout and freedom to make another film with an ancient language to tell the tale of the dead Mayan culture.

The story follows a young father, Jaguar Paw, who is captured along with the bulk of his tribe, all intended to be a human sacrifices in one of the large Mayan cities. Paw manages an escape and for the last half of the film, the chase is on.

Gibson does a wonderful job introducing us into a society we've never known, quickly making us care about the people by using universal connection points... humor, family, parental love, communal interactions. When the idyllic, simple tribal life is accosted and Jaguar Paw is bound and lead to the city, we are exposed to a dying civilization, full of intense superstition and waste.


Production value for the film is entirely on the screen. And, I will say this about Gibson... he likes showing violence for what it is... grotesque. Some people call Gibson a violence-lover because his films are relentless in their graphic nature, but I think Gibson is just the opposite. In a world dulled by years of "movie violence" and "video game violence" Gibson shows real violence and the real outcomes of such violence, whether that be decapitations, gougings or blood squirting from the veins. For Gibson, violence should be uncomfortable, and he makes it that way.

Gibson also works in Christian spiritual themes as well. Jaguar Paw's father tells him "be not afraid" or fear will overwhelm you. He shows the sharing of burden, similar to Simon helping Christ carry the cross, and self-sacrifice. There are nice, weighty messages interspersed between the blood-letting and head-chopping.


In its entirety, Apocalypto is a satisfying film with some inventive plot points and obstacles. Not as powerful as Passion... but then again what is... Apocalypto, along with Braveheart, shows he knows how to direct action sequences. I just can't wait for him to direct a movie that actually takes place today.

Apocalypto is not for everyone, but it is quality cinema.

New Sonlight Pictures Logo

After a couple of tries, this weekend I came up with a new Sonlight Pictures logo...

King Solomon's Mines (1985)

Cannon Film Group was a company in the 80's that made films that sounded vaguely familiar or in the same genre as another hit you think you've seen. Knock-offs. Riding coat tail on the success of Raiders of the Lost Ark, Cannon acquired the rights to shoot King Solomon's Mines, starring Richard Chamberlain and Sharon Stone.

Mines is not a good film... and it knows it. It knows it can't compete against Raiders... what can? So, Mines doesn't try to and never takes itself too seriously. And that's where I find its charm.

The story follows Chamberlain as adventurer Allan Quartermain who is hired by the cute and dim Jesse Huston (Stone) to find her father. Her father was on the trail to find the legendary King Solomon's Mines and was kidnapped by a Turkish brutal leader (Raiders alum John Rhys-Davies) and a pre-WWII German commander (Herbert Lom).

Quartermain and Huston stay one step ahead of the baddies, hustling on trains and planes and automobiles, through angry tribes and as the main course for a large cannibal contingent. Eventually they find the mines and try to acquire a massive diamond, jewel and gold cache before the world literally comes crumbling down around them.

The production value for a Cannon film is pretty impressive, considering it's a Cannon film. The cast, sans Stone, are all very solid in this light-hearted take on the material. Director J. Lee Thompson, known for The Guns of Navarone, helmed the project and the soundtrack, by Jerry Goldsmith, is far better than the film deserves. The massive amounts of extras and set pieces shows Cannon was putting all of their money into this flick trying to turn it into some sort of franchise.

While shooting Mines, they also shoot the sequel, Allan Quartermain and the Lost City of Gold.

Well, apparently, the franchise idea didn't turn out too well. And the money quickly dried up. Some of the effects in Mines are pretty cheesy. The effects in Gold are outright amateurish. Embarrasingly so.

Gold is an outright horrendous film with Chamberlain and Stone returning as well as James Earl Jones cashing a paycheck as some tribal guide. Gold is as bad compared to Mines as Mines is in comparison to Raiders.

But, I have a special affinity for Mines. Why? I don't really know. Shouldn't I know better? Yes. But Chamberlain really looks like he's having fun in what can only be called a modern day B-Movie.

It's silly and doesn't care.

Is it a great movie? Hec no. Is it a good movie? Depends on what mood you're in. But I liked it.

I'm weird that way.

Children of Men (2006)

What happens to the world when no one on the planet is capable of having children? In Children of Men, the brave and engrossing film by Alfonso Cuarón, the answer is chaos. Except for Great Britain, the world has fallen into anarchy. People have lost hope. Social structure is breaking down.

In a world with no new children, celebrities are made of the youngest people on earth. Societal priorities suddenly shift. Thinking their eventual extinction is within a single generation, government puts massive amounts of money into works of art and things that will not only show how we lived, but why.

Cuarón does some extraordinary camera work in Children, using long, complex shots to bring us directly into the world while various levels of mayhem occur around us in what had to be massively difficult choreographed work.


Clive Owen, Julianna Moore, Michael Caine and the under appreciated Chiwetel Ejiofor are all wonderful as they get involved in politics, immigration debates and the possibility of pregnant young woman existing in a sterile world.

Can the cry of a baby stop a war? Can one child save humankind? What would we be willing to sacrifice to save mankind?

Check out Children of Men to find out. It's an inventive, effective flick.

A Father's Illness

I spent most of the Thanksgiving holiday on the road. I drove up to my brother Steve's house on Friday. Together we rode up to NC to visit my father in the nursing home on Saturday. We spent some time with him in the morning. He looked quite ill and had lost a lot of weight. The prognosis is not good. Later we went back to my sister Mary's house, had a nice discussion with my Mom about Dad. We then went to Mass, saw Dad again one more time before Steve and I headed back to his house.

I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to see my father, hold his hand, kiss is face and tell him I love him. He is still mentally aware, but worn down by years of Parkinson's and the various other infections and ailments he is dealing with now.

It was nice to see most of my family while being up there and to spend the drives to and from NC with my brother Steve. We are so blessed to have such a loving, caring family. We all get along so well and love spending time together.

The drive back home Sunday was long and I took Monday, my 42nd birthday, off from work so I could recover both physically and emotionally from the trip.

Now I just pray that God's Will be done with my father's health. He's led a good, spiritual and loving life. He has taught me to interact with my children at their level... something of which I have learned is a rare thing. He has taught me the correct priorities in marriage... God, spouse, children. He is a wonderful example, even now, of how to live one's life.

I hope he hears my prayers and they somehow relieve his burden.

Prayers Requested...

• Please pray for my father, as he goes through health issues.
• And for my mother, as she supports him during this time.
• For my sister-in-law, who is recovering from surgery required to clean out an infection from tooth extractions.
• For my sister-in-law planning to travel down for Thanksgiving but is struggling with two children with Strep.
• And plenty of other people not listed.
  

Holidays are going to be fun this year.

Between the Walls (2005)

Without God's forgiveness, when we die we would be faced with every moment of our lives in front of us. Imagine a library of audio tapes or DVDs or any other recording media that would await you. All of our flaws, all of our mistakes, all of our sins... we would be forced to digest all of our inadequacies as we plead during our judgment.

That's the symbolism behind the Christian feature film, Between the Walls. The film, directed by Chris Staron and starring Patrick Midgley, Eli Jared and Scott Davis, follows a young man (Midgley) from an abusive childhood who must deal with the foreclosure of his parent's house. His cruel father now long past, Midgley revisits the house and must face the fears and demons of his past.


Throughout his life in the house, Midgley's father had a locked room in the basement that no one was ever allowed to enter, not even his own wife. Unlocking this room and discovering its contents thrust Midgley to revisit everything he was trying to forget and come to some sort of spiritual resolution through understanding and forgiveness.


Between the Walls is a solid Christian film. The acting is very good and the story, for the most part, is well told. The visual tricks to thrust the main character into the past are inventive and effectively used. The story loses some punch in the third act where it becomes a little too preachy, but the overall message and symbolism it shows throughout make the film a worthwhile experience.


On the behind-the-scenes portion of the DVD you get to see how the Sharon brothers overcame numerous struggles to make the film. They also provide primers on lighting, framing and directing that are a nice touch.


I recently heard in an interview that the Sharon's are working on a Christian comedy. I look forward to their next film. These guys have talent and I look can't wait to see what they come up with next.

Beowulf 3D (2007)

In the 1950's, when television drew millions of viewers away from the cinema, the film industry responded by trying to make going to the movies a unique experience and introduced 3D to the mass public.

Now, with movie theaters competing with HDTV, the internet and a distracted customer base, 3D is making a comeback. 3D has advanced quite a bit by now... first you no longer need those red and blue glasses. And with digital projection, your eyes no longer get tired from the flicker of dual projectors. I've always been a huge fan of 3D. I would love to direct a 3D film... that would be very cool.

Beowulf

Many new movies are planned for 3D release, including this year's Beowulf. And, thankfully, it looks like 3D has come into its own.

The story of Beowulf follows the title character, played by Ray Winstone. Beowulf is known worldwide for his heroic exploits, and he arrives and attempts to kill a local demon (Crispin Glover) that would free a king (Anthony Hopkins) of a devastating curse. During the journey, Beowulf is tempted by a water demon (Angelina Jolie), enticed by the queen (Robin Wright Penn) and harassed by a knight (John Malkovich).

Sticky Demon

The film itself is PG-13 and deserves the rating. The violence is, though animated, quite graphic at times. The disturbing looking demon looks like a malformed burn victim... icky and sticky. The water demon (Jolie) transforms into a almost-nude form that leaves little to the imagination. This is not a kids movie.

Beowulf is very effective in its storytelling. The 3D is top notch and really immerses you in this historic world. A battle with a dragon at a critical point in the film is thrilling and exhilarating as everything moves by you as if you were really there.

Jolie as the Water Demon

Jolie's character is the perfect symbolism of sin... beautiful, enticing and seductive at first, but the price you pay is heavy and potentially fatal if you fall prey to her lies. The personal flaws of Beowulf (pride and vanity) are his weakness and could be his undoing if he does not rise above them.

Morally, the film has a lot of good examples to show. Visually, the film is both amazing and graphic to watch. For me personally, it was a little too "ikcy"... blood, slit open skin, oozing open wounds, a freakishly disturbing demon... not for my palette, but that doesn't mean its not effective.

So, check out the future of 3D. Beowulf is a memorable theater experience. And get prepared for future 3d films. Hollywood has a lot of them in the works.

One of the things theaters have been talking about is offering sporting events in 3D. That would be cool. Can't wait to see what they come up with next.

Merrill's Wedding

Well, with things being so busy and with Dad's health issues, my blog entries are lagging. A few weeks ago my niece Merrill got married to Jeff. The wedding was beautiful and I have a lot of editing to do for their DVD.

Brian, KT, Sarah and Luke stayed with us... we love it when they stay... and one of the morning Luke and Sarah helped Dea make pancakes.

It was a very nice weekend. I'm sorry I didn't get these pics online earlier.

DC and Elizabeth all dolled up.

DC mugging for the camera.

Jeff and Merrill are now man and wife.

Sarah leads our efforts in the kitchen.

Black Snake Moan (2006)

Black Snake Moan should not work as a movie. It's about a black man in the south who chains up a white nymphomaniac in his house so that she may be cured of her "disease." It's about a relationship between two broken people. It's about platonic love between an old man and a young woman. It's about the blues. It's about Memphis. None of this should work and combined, it should work even less.

But it does. Extremely well.

Black Snake Moan, which refers to a blues term about the darkest moment in love gone bad, stars Samuel L. Jackson as Lazarus and Christina Ricci as Rae, the lead characters in this inventive and entertaining story about broken hearts, damaged people and moving music. Jackson and Ricci are nothing short of stellar on the screen. And an additional nod should go to Justin Timberlake, who's recent acting work shows is a far greater talent than just a musician.

Written and directed by Craig Brewer, who also wrote and directed the critically acclaimed Memphis flick Hustle and Flow, again brings his deep history and passion of Memphis to the screen in a multi-layered film with deep, rich characters and an atmosphere that only a life-long resident of the area could bring.

In the end, this story is about the ultimate healing power of relationships and faith. It's about how love and not lust can overcome a lifetime of bad decisions. And it's this wonderfully enriching mix that lifts this film to an extremely high level.

Black Snake Moan is a film that works on so many personal levels it should touch everyone who gets a chance to see it.

Happy Birthday Paul!

My brother Paul turns 46 today. As I've mentioned here numerous times, Paul has been my biggest and most consistent artistic supporter. He saw all my plays, bought me my first Super 8 movie camera, helped fund my first feature The Box as well as built a movie dolly for me. He also helped me manage the emotional and spiritual side of dealing with a chronic illness like Crohns.

He's awesome. A great father and husband and fellow Crohnie...

Paul, last weekend, reading at Merrill's wedding.

Happy birthday, Paul!

Halloween 2007

A few days late, but here are some pics from Halloween. Gabe went as Indiana Jones, DC handed out candy as a Mexican Dancer.

Gabe working on the pumpkin.

The finished pumpkin at night.

Kids in costumes.

Writing Gabby Wells

Well, after much thought, prayer and discussions with my daughter about plot, character and scope, I've finally started drafting out the feature script for The Adventures of Gabby Wells. Gabby Wells is a teen dramedy (drama/comedy) about our struggle with Christ-like selflessness. A young teen girl comes into possession of a watch that can stop time. The consequence to using the watch is every second she stops time is taken off of her own life.

I'm sketching out the first act on pad and paper right now. It's a little more difficult for me to write because it is not within my comfort zone, but that's what makes it a good challenge. I decided, for tax reasons, that I wouldn't incorporate Sonlight Pictures until after the new year so I have about eight weeks to hash out the first draft of Wells before I will get consumed with getting Sonlight Pictures up and running.

The Holy Spirit has been good to me and the more I write the more the entire story starts to come together. I just have to make sure I write something everyday or else I won't make my deadline.

Hidden Secrets (2006)

Greater Orlando Christian Film Festival Spotlight!

Hidden Secrets is the most complete and entertaining Christian film I've seen. The script is witty and sharp, the cast is excellent and the production values on par with any other Hollywood offering.

The story revolves around a group of friends, all in varying stages of faith challenges, who come together for the funeral of a beloved, faithful friend. Among his friends are Jeremy (David A. R. White) who brings his girlfriend Rachel (Stacy Keanan from ABCs Step by Step) along. Jeremy had a previous relationship with Sherry (Tracy Lindsey Melchoir) and the entire weekend they try to redefine their once passionate relationship. Also along for the weekend is Gary (John Schneider from Dukes of Hazard) as the dead friend's faithless, charming and egotistical boss, Michael (Corin Nemec), Anthony (Sean Sedgwick), Sally (Christian singer Rachael Lampa) and the funny couple of the successful end time author Harold (Greg Binkley) and his domineering, judgemental, bible-quoting wife Rhonda (Autumn Paul).

The casting could not have been better.

The funny and charming John Schneider

As the weekend unfolds, each of the characters must face their pasts, the consequences of their decisions and the current state of their Christian faith. The banter between Gary (Schneider) and Rhonda (Paul) is priceless. And the love triangle between Jeremy, Rachael and Sherry rings true.

The love triangle. Jeremy and Rachel (above)
and Sherry (below)

The film tackles a lot of touchy Christian subjects, but does so with a perfect balance of respect and irreverence, with sarcasm and honesty. Hidden Secrets is the first Christian film that is good enough to compete with any romantic comedy that Hollywood can churn up. Except in Secrets, the punchlines aren't filled with sexual innuendos and cheap fart jokes, but instead with intelligent jousting and obstacles filled with real substance.

Corin Nemec as the troubled Michael

To get a taste of Hidden Secrets, check out the funny trailer HERE.

And if it gets released near you see it. If not, then rent it. And if you can, buy it. It's a good flick.

A Father's Voice

My father has been going through health issues lately. And when you're 83, any health issue can turn into a big, scary health issue. As my father struggled with various ailments over the past week, I prayed and asked God to heal him and, more importantly, let His will be done.

As his health steadily improved I was finally able to talk to my father on the phone yesterday. I was surprised to find myself overwhelmed with emotion. It wasn't until after I hung up the phone that I finally understood what my tears had meant... hearing my father's voice was so special because I was unsure if I would ever get a chance to hear it again.

Hearing my father's voice was suddenly the greatest gift. To hear him tell me he loves me and he is proud of me... well, what son doesn't find those words elevating and inspiring?

And today on the way to work I thought how much greater will my emotions be when I hear God's voice again after I pass.

I know He loves me as well. I only hope He finds pride in what I have done here too.

Pilgrim's Progress (2007)

Greater Orlando Christian Film Festival Spotlight!

Pilgrims Progress: Journey to Heaven is adapted from John Bunyan's original book Pilgrims Progress by writer, director and producer Danny Carrales. This updated and modern version of the book follows the lead character, Christian, as he is leaves his family and friends behind in the City of Destruction and, inspired by the Bible, heads toward the Celestial City.

This film actually made its world premiere during this festival!

During his journey is faced with many challenges and characters such as Evangelist, Hypocrisy, Ignorance and Faith. He must over come Demons and Great Despair on his quest to reach heaven.

The film was not in its final form and suffered from some required audio tweaking, but the film overall was a nice success. It's a straight-forward approach to the journey all Christians face during their life, struggling with doubt and the burden of sin. We are all easily swayed and can easily get off the right path.

Carrales does a wonderful job managing the immense task required to tell this epic story. The cast is all solid and the visual effects sufficient for its dreamlike quality. Carrales has dedicated almost four years of his life to this project and his passion and love for the subject is visible on the screen.

Daniel Kruse as Christian

This is a great film for younger viewers. It shows tangible imagery to theoretical challenges facing Christians. It should not only give them a greater understanding of their faith, but inspire greater discussion between parents and children in regards to their faith.

This is a film worth supporting. Check it out.