This is not going to be easy. And, as the Bauer clan thins, it will more than likely be left up to me to give the Eulogy.
In order to expedite the process and, in typical Bauer humor fashion, I've created a Mad-Lib version of a Eulogy, I like to call Madulogy.
It is an honor to be with you all today.
As you know (name) was a (adjective) and (verb) (noun). To me, (he/she) was simply (noun). My first memory of (name) was when (he/she) and I went to the (noun) to (verb) the (noun). We had so many (adjective) (nouns)! What a great (man/woman/person)! I’ll never forget it.
(Name) was perhaps best known for (his/her) ability to (talent). Whenever I found myself in a (noun) with (adverb) (verb) (noun), I would only have to think back to their (talent) and it would make me (verb).
(Name) will be missed. (He/She/It) will be survived by (number) (children/pets/books). Their dedication to (church/club/on-line community) is (adjective) to all of the (noun) with which (he/she) interacted on a (time frame) basis. As a matter of fact, (name's friend's name) came up to me the other day and mentioned that without (name)’s help with the (effort) for the (church/club/on-line community) the (flag pole/park bench/parish center/art gallery/new mailbox) would not have been possible. (Name) was a (noun) among (noun)… a (adjective) (presupposition) (tangent) (exclamation).
All of you here this (time of day) know what I mean.
(Name) is (verb) (adjective) (noun) (planet). Their (noun) is a (verb) (adjective) (liquid) (pronoun) that will (airline) (cousin’s first pet) (astrological symbol) until (time frame) and (mammal) (favorite beverage) (pronoun) (noun) (inseam) (sub-conscious symbolism) is finally (metal beginning with the letter ‘P’) (adjective) (adverb) (verb) (birth weight) (noun).
(He/She) may be gone, but they will never be (shoe size) (verb) (imaginary friend’s uncle’s teacher’s street address).
As (name) used to say to me whenever we (verb)… (verb) you.
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9 comments:
Hilarious!
Wow... That's just funny.
I want to die first!
The other day, I attended a memorial Mass for the sister of a parishioner. The deceased had lived in New Mexico. At the end of Mass our Pastor always tries to say something about the person who had died. Aftr Mass, I said it him, "It must be difficult to say something when you don't know the person." He replied in the affirmative. I told him he did a good job, anyway, then added, "Well, when I pass, you won't have to worry because I have it all written out for you." Laughing, he asked, "Is it truthful?" I responded, "Of course not." His response, "Typical", Mine, "You're awful"
Sorry for the errors.Consider the source.
That's great! Since I'm younger than you, can I use this at your funeral too?!
Kritti - absolutely! I would prefer it, actually :)
Charles - we agree with you.
I think it looks fine just the way it is. I'll sign off on it for (name).
Mary
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